Re: Need some help on this one, please.

Hi Shaaw,

I agree with alkikat that this you could probably get some great resonses from the Relationship forum, but here's my take. The short answer is it's one of two things. Either she is not interested in you and can't be honest about that, or there is another reason.

Let's assume she is telling you the truth about not being able to get close to people. She is right in that you can't help her - she needs to discover a way to help herself. It is so true that one cannot experience what it is to be loving and accepting and embracing of another until they learn to love, accept and embrace THEMSELVES.

I didn't believe this for a long time. I thought I could live my life and ignore the fact that I had major trust issues from stuff that happened to me when I was six years old. I had dealt with all that crap intellectually, but could not for the life of me figure out what was wrong with my life and why I always sememed to be so hampered.

When bad things happen to you as a very small child, or even anytime in childhood, you have very little recourse. But as children we have a gift of being able to protect a part of ourselves, to build up walls so high and thick that even though we are hurt in other ways, nothing can get through.

Up until yesterday afternoon, coincidentally enough, I had the same problem. I made a decision to face it, and it is really hard.

Anyway,enough about that. Let me tell you that what would work for me if I was that woman in that situation, is if you did absolutely nothing that put pressure on her. Be her friend. Tell her you know you can'r fix her problems. Maybe she is not ready and will never be ready to heal that woundedd child. I bet her trust in anyone is pretty non-existant. She may be also trying to protect you from the horribleness that she sees in herself. You may even want to validate that she did a very good job of protecting herself.

The only modalities for interaction that will be of benefit are complete unconditional caring and extreme compassion. And gentleness, so much gentleness.

I can't tell you how hard this is. for her this is a question of her very survival. She needed these walls for survival and it take a lot to feel safe again.

I have done so much work on myself, studying higher consciousness, love, doing astral plane work, cleansing, dealing with other big problems. But though I am told I am very evolved in my spiritual work, this issue for me has been like an anchor tied to my leg dragging me down. I can only go so far in my work without dealing with this and healing the child in my past,a s much as I had convinced myself it had already been done.

Anyway,sorry for the long answer, and sorry if I rambled, I just found it so interesting that you would post about something that I am going through myself and it really helps me to be able to have something positive come out of this in the way of trying to help someone else.

Blessings,

Ali