another thing that just isn't right about this...

NINE YEARS DATING AND 3 YEARS LIVING WITH???????? That's a long, long, long time to not have a full understanding that this is the one. Women, on average, should take about 2 total years of dating in order to find out EVERYTHING about the guy and then make a decision. Go forward or dump him. Life is harsh, and your life is your life. Nine years with a guy that you still have doubts about says volumes. Obviously, you don't like the situation as it stands...and it will never change. Nine years is your crystal ball. About 7 too many if you ask me. My crystal ball is ultra clear on the future path with your present steady Eddy...more of the same. Guys rarely change, we act like we will sometimes, but overall...what you see is what you get. You need to assume responsibility for your standards. If a guy can't do this for me, hey, I tell him and if he still doesn't deliver...move on. Women have a hard time doing that, you know. That's why there are so many terrible first-time relationships out there. Half of every woman you know settled for less than what they wanted...and got burned. Half!