I've answered a ton of questions in my day, believe me, you aren't the first or the last to have zero sex with a bf or husband. This isn't about you. Trust me when I say this to you...it's about your guy. Women need to hear this because their self esteem and inner confidence buckles easily compared to a guy's. We guys just brush it off, blame somebody, and move on to the next subject. Just like you describe...he excuses the elephant in the room with not multiple orgasms...but multiple "reasons".

I find your action to be quite normal. Hey, sex is a biggie. It's Top 3 in any relationship, whether the guy or the gal wants to say it out loud. When one of the uniion is not getting laid, trust crumbles, love crumbles, and soon the relationship crumbles. And you may not want to hear this, but I'm famous for delivering the goods straight ahead...THAT MAY NOT BE A BAD THING. That's right, women need to acknowledge a problem guy before they marry. There's no shame, none whatsoever, with saying, "we had a good run, I love you ___________, but my crystal ball tells me that you can't deliver happiness to me in the future. And my life with you will be a constant battle so I'm free once again." Women don't want to hear that. But I'll tell you the God's honest truth: The vast majority of women who open their eyes wide open and face the music, thank their lucky stars they moved on. Their lives are on their terms, they meet up with guys who have what they want and need. You need sex. Everybody does. He won't give it. That's a dealbreaker. You can love somebody and still not have a successful life with them. Both can be true, you know.

Sometimes, many times, life ain't fair. I want women to stop settling, which is what I think you are doing with this guy. Settling. You've gone way too long with the vibrator, I don't know how you put up with that for a year and a half but you did. That's long enough. It's time to put YOU ahead of excuses. Stand up for yourself, admit that there are things you want out of a man that have to be met, regardless of feelings, and act accordingly. You'll thank me some day...

NINE YEARS DATING AND 3 YEARS LIVING WITH???????? That's a long, long, long time to not have a full understanding that this is the one. Women, on average, should take about 2 total years of dating in order to find out EVERYTHING about the guy and then make a decision. Go forward or dump him. Life is harsh, and your life is your life. Nine years with a guy that you still have doubts about says volumes. Obviously, you don't like the situation as it stands...and it will never change. Nine years is your crystal ball. About 7 too many if you ask me. My crystal ball is ultra clear on the future path with your present steady Eddy...more of the same. Guys rarely change, we act like we will sometimes, but overall...what you see is what you get. You need to assume responsibility for your standards. If a guy can't do this for me, hey, I tell him and if he still doesn't deliver...move on. Women have a hard time doing that, you know. That's why there are so many terrible first-time relationships out there. Half of every woman you know settled for less than what they wanted...and got burned. Half!