relationship need help

i have been with my boyfriend for almost nine years and have lived together for over three years. before we moved in together things were great we had been together for five years and the sexua| relationship had dipped slightly. as we lived with our parents it didnt bother me and thought we are getting our own house so everything will be fine. once we got the house things just carried on going downhill on that side. on a general day to day we get on great we are best friends and really enjoy spending time with each other he is a great guy its just the sexua| relationship. it started going less and less and this was from his side he used any excuses under the sun, tired, ill, come to bed late etc i asked was he cheating ? did he want to be with me? his answer no no no wants to be together he loves me. after this going on for over a year and a half he said he it was phycological he didnt want to hurt me as once in the past i bled whilst having sex and that affected him. since then i have lost my desire to want to have sex with him and as soon as i said that he now wanted sex. i cannot bring myself to have sex it feels weird as if we shouldnt do it. i have not lost my sex drive as i still find people attactive and think about sex. recently i have kissed someone else and my boyfriend has found out. he was really upset but is willing to forgive me but i just dont know if the relationship will change ?? we cant carry on living like friends and having no sexua| relationship. he is willing to do anything to sort it out and doesnt want to be with anyone else but me. the last thing i want to do is hurt him as i love him so much and when i said we cant stay together it breaks his heart and i cant take it, i really need help. do you think we can rekindle the sexua| relationship or is this just dead ??? we have no children i am 26 and he 29 i really dont no what to do if anyone has any ideas it would be really apprieciated