Absence of Malice

I think what I'm seeking is affirmation of Kharma - we reap what we sow.  Your experiences and the subsequent results (for lack of a better word) are eerie, to be sure. 

I don't wish for the worm to suffer illness or death - just accountability and consequences.  If he were to suffer illness/injury as I had (and, continue to) and endure either/both alone, afraid, broke, and desperate, it would be just reward for the way that I was treated, absolutely.  But, what I would wish to see is for his sins to be heard in open court and for him to suffer consequences for his personal choices and actions.

Having said this, I also wish to focus on my personal healing.  His vile sexua| interests and activities were discovered at the end of September '11, and the marriage was ended at the beginning of November '11.  Since November, there have been a series of episodes that were painful, humiliating, and desperate, and I am getting past that.  My issue is that I want to get beyond that, yesterday.  I mean, it's barely been 3 months and I'm really being hard on myself to "get over it."  And, he continues to inflict financial damages even though any Court would ask him if he were insane for believing that he could simply walk away from all financial obligations.

I am being so hard on myself, I realize.  And, I need to give myself some time to process the past 13 1/2 years, the implications, and what he deliberately did to me.  So....that's where I am at this point.  I don't like it, and I want to see a Judge read him the riot act, but I don't think that it will ever happen. 

Thanks for sharing your experiences and insight.  I'm kinda needy, right now!  :D