Re: Accountability???

I have a long list for you - each person in my life who has done extreme damage to me has met with tragedy. My father, who was irresponsible for the welfare of his childen and "innappopriate" with me, died of brain tumor at 57 yrs. - asked my forgiveness from his death bed, said he felt he was dying for all his wrongs, actually blamed me in a sidelong parting shot - it is what narcissitic sociopaths do!

Various husband/boyfriend types have died - one in a wheelchair for 20 years, etc. This is not gender specific karma - even females, including sisters.

I have followed your situation - remarkably similar to a relationship of mine, though mine was shortlived. Same betrayal, same deceit, same crazy-maker. I know your pain. I am not a vengeful type - I just remove myself, albeit too late in some cases. Broken bones, broken spirit, broken health was my lot. Their negativity came back around to them, I saw in retrospect some years ago, after my last husband died of cancer. I realized they had not "gotten away with" anything. I was horrified by the epiphany, and I live very differently as a result.

Karma
is very real- sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly it comes back around like a boomerang. We each own our energy - what we send out is on its way back. I loved every one, never wanted anything bad to happen to them, no matter what they did to me - even the rapist when I was 14. Somehow I knew they were sick, to be pitied - this confirmed later in life in my current spiritual walk.

I understood when I was a small child that I did not have to exact revenge - from the biblical "vengeance is mine sayeth the lord" stuff...my belief system had evolved, but I do KNOW that they do themselves in...husband with cancer was extremely abusive and extremely self-pitying. Self-pity will kill, rot you from the inside out- they just call it cancer...I do not get involved any longer with folks who essentially have a death wish, and unconsciously want to use me to get the job done...have had no close
relationship with a man for several years, gave myself time
to heal - don't want to see anymore terrible results for those I care for. Whatever the definition - something in the universe does not appeciate the blood drawn from me. I am long gone when these tragic things have ocurred. Today I am much quicker to step away - no one is abusing me now, not for over a decade. In reality, we are all only harming ourselves - others appear to get dented along the way, but each responsible for what we send...I send nothing I am not willing to own.



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