Re: ( your subject here )
please, do not post with no subject heading. (or the title "no subject") It's disrespectful to the forum, and to yourself. (might be okay for emailing a friend who knows you...)
Pick a title, that relates to the substance of your post.
As to your question. You cannot serve anyone, or any vision, until you see yourself as other than 'small'. (unworthy). So, to heal thyself would be a good place to begin to be serious about pleasing the Divine--which is what you really want to be doing anyway. because that would make you happy.
In other words,
There's no reason why your own desires to be more well, and to be LIGHTER aren't good enough to receive the 'blessing' you seek. Ask for it from your heart, and as they say:
"it is given". There's nothing to earn, but your own abiding self-respect. yes, it can be done! (The thing is, it already IS done; the blessing, and the worthiness. This is the real meaning of "thy will be done".
best. C
P.S. It seems that my post might look more harsh than was meant. If so, apologies.