It seems as though you are dissatisfied with your conclusion that life is just a fluke of the universe, a meaningless expression. Some choose this as a way of not knowing or caring; ignorance is bliss. If that works for you, that's fine. But if you feel saddened by this outcome, why not focus on the complete opposite?
Always keep an open mind. Science and intelligence had to accept new ways of thinking to evolve. Spirituality is a Science itself.