It seems as though you are dissatisfied with your conclusion that life is just a fluke of the universe, a meaningless expression. Some choose this as a way of not knowing or caring; ignorance is bliss. If that works for you, that's fine. But if you feel saddened by this outcome, why not focus on the complete opposite?

Always keep an open mind. Science and intelligence had to accept new ways of thinking to evolve. Spirituality is a Science itself.

Life IS depressing and meaningless if you take the traditional view that we're all solely matter except for a soul we'll never experience or understand. And basically in the role of pets dependent on the generosity of a master creator that will hopefully take mercy if we wag our tales furiously enough.

This philosophy is basically a slave philosophy that's reinforced at every turn by the ruling elite who are gatekeepers to all infomation, entertainment, education we (the masses) are allowed to be exposed to.

After many years of life and ready between the lines of many different philosophical and religious texts, it's clear to me that we're ALL Gods and creators. Our role her on earth and gifts of intelligence, abstract thought, etc. is clearly to put us in the role of creators and caretaker if you look at function on a species by species basis.

Religions actually say the same thing. "Know thyself and you'll know God" "The kingdom of heaven is within" "Self Realization is God Realization" and so on and so on.

The central role in all religions is the self rather than God. As is should be since none of us can understand God, but self actualization can make us both realize God's power and empower us to be Gods and creators ourselves.

Every person you interact with, every thought you choose to entertain, every living thing you come in contact with is affected by you. And you yourself determine whether you're affecting people in a positive way towards a greater vision, small greedy selfish and mutually exclusive, or just lazily and indifferent.

We choose morality not because we believe in a God that will kick our ass if we're not. But because we don't want to live in a meaningless amoral world that's indifferent to the suffering of the other creatures that find ourselves here. And there you have the difference between operating as a slave or a God. Or the hands of God if you prefer.

Instead of letting reality depress us we have to wake up and use our God power to create and influence our world - at whatever scale is available to us.

I've started a blog on the subject at darkislightenough.com