Healing path

I am so sorry to read about your experiences. From your descriptions, it sounds as if your father fits the profile of a sociopath - a step beyond malignant narcissism - although, I'm not a professional qualified to make such an assessment.

As an adult, you have a number of choices that would not only help you to find your healing path, but also to sever the ties with the abusive parent, once and for all. The first (and, probably BEST) option would be to engage in counseling with someone who specializes in survivors of sociopathy, survivors of domestic violence, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. You may also find help and guidance in a support group, though I would recommend (strongly so) that a support group be approached along with individual counseling - the reason being that many NPD and sociopaths troll support groups to find and ensnare vulnerable human beings for whatever purposes that they can use them for.

The only way to never be used/abused, again, is to go "No Contact." This means that emails, text messages, cards, letters, phone calls, etc., are all ignored, blocked, and/or left without response. These types of people will say and do anything to keep their current and former victims off-balance, and engage in attempts to contact and interfere at any given opportunity. NO CONTACT means just that - none, nada, zip, zilch, zero.

For more help on on the layman's level, please, see the website: http://www.lovefraud.com
and keep informed about how you can move forward without living in fear of what the sociopath will do, next. Additionally, a good counselor will help you work through the trust issues and hyper-vigilance as well as help you to keep "grounded" during support groups so that you don't have a neon "TARGET" flashing on your forehead.

Brightest blessings to you!