Re: Series of portraits of you all.

So let's check your picture then...(!)

Upload it and add an tag to the URL...

Jimmy Page is cool, I agree, hehe.

I will have to try to return to work this week, although I know it will be a disaster. My boss is a very strong adrenal type (as is my punishing father) and he's German to boot.

The high cortisol and its effects on every system in my body is terribly crippling, plus the preoccupation with the loss of collagen etc. I think my vascular system is becoming weak and if I'm not careful with avoiding bad fats etc. I get some kind of aching of veins, as if they're becoming varicose.

How can anyone be this ill, really, and wish to continue?

Hypercortisolism is terrible, awful and I want it to stop, right now!

There are so many things, thoughts, misunderstandings/cruelties from others feeding back into my HPA axis. Nobody understands that even trying to make simple decisions is a major task.

Everyone is shouting at me, how useless I am and to snap out of it and stop talking to weirdos and doctors about getting well. Just take an anti-depressant and snap out of it. Ugh, this world seems so completely and utterly inhospitable. I despair and I'm not even allowed to despair knowing its impact on my HPA axis.

Not only am I melting, one structural protein after another, but I've also become a completely useless entity who represents a massive burden on others.

The only shred of hope I have is hope itself.

The cosmos whispers back to me in words I can no longer understand.