I Feel Lost, What Am I Doing?

I have dated David for 8 months now, not very long but I have come to love him so much and continue to love him more. Our problem is his inability to handle stress.
I’m not saying his situation is easy, in the process of a nasty divorce (I met him half way through his divorce; his wife cheated with some old guy(55 year old, I don’t get it either) and so he also started dating other girls and it turned into a pissing match). I can say with confidence, they hate each other; it’s the usual story, they got pregnant young, separated countless times, they both wanted to party and blah blah blah…
Everything only became worst when she found out he was seeing me seriously, she always had him by-the excuse my language-the balls; he had been her little puppy. Him seeing random girls hadn’t really bothered her(as much), but finally seeing that he can say I love you to someone else honestly, eats at her; makes her realize what she’s lost. That saying, “don’t know what you have till it’s gone,” sort of thing. Also it must sting that I am 10 years younger, and attractive (and modest =P).
She tries to brain wash her kids, and use them against him (kids are 15 and 7); that’s his weakness. The 15 year old recently had to sell candies and David was going to buy the remaining that she needed to complete her requirements. To his surprise on the list of buyers his ex wife’s 55 year old boyfriend’s name is on it. He felt betrayed by his daughter who usually takes her mother’s side, because who would go against their mother? She’s just a child and I told him that she’s confused, and all this does not mean she prefers this other man. But after further investigating, it seems that his ex has brought this other guy around their kids and he has become familiar with them.
It really bothered him, and I told him it was probably just another plot by his ex-wife to piss him off. Like I said before, she always does little things through her kids to hurt him. A hard-core manipulative bitch. She even went as far as to burn him with boiling water, and casuse second degree burns all across his left arm and back.
He vented, and I hoped that being with me made him feel a little better. But then as he was driving home, we were talking on the phone and he told me he was going to get some cigarettes. He knows I hate, hate it when he resorts to smoking because of the stress his ex puts on him. Because him smoking means, he doesn’t care about his health, he doesn’t care about anything, I hate it when he’s so defeated. Him smoking means, she’s getting the best of him. We argued and ofcourse I came out hurt, since he really doesn’t care about anything at that moment.
The next day I apologized for trying to tell him what to do, I have no right to ask him not to smoke.
I received a call from my attorney about a pending sexua| harassment case; separate issue. And they are claiming I emailed the defendant a month after I left the work place just to have a one sided conversation and tell him I hope he loses his job/house and his family leaves him. I told my boyfriend unclearly that they were saying I sent him messages and even called and they had proof, but I didn’t do it. I was so afraid because I didn’t know how to prove my innocence. The call destination came from riverside, I was in downtown LA with my boyfriend before Christmas. I had a reservation at the standard hotel where we also had a room; no one had access to my phone, not even my boyfriend since I left it in the room when the alleged calls happened.
Back to the issue, well I told my boyfriend without much detail about it and he said that he doesn’t think I’m being entirely truthful. All my friends that know me didn’t even question my credibility. And he was bothered! I had been so scared that I couldn’t defend myself, I felt violated and harassed for this false claim and he isn’t even there for me. I have always believed everything he’s told me in regards to his divorce case. Not once did I doubt him, and yet when I need him he turns his back to me and says “that coupled with me thinking about u lying to me about ur exemploer. Hell my ex lied to me so why not u. I kind of already went thru this wit my ex n her law suit.” He apologized right after but still, the words were said and I felt horrible. He made me feel like I shouldn’t have complained for being touched inappropriately at work, I hadn’t know before dating him that his ex went through a similar law suit. Of course, mine involved more touching and abuse; I needed him and he wasn’t there..
I know I’m a big reason to why he’s able to deal with a lot of his problems, but I’m the only one getting hurt. He tells me sometimes he just wants to say the f*** with everything. He’s so stressed, I’m so hurt… I really know how to pick them.
I don’t know what to do anymore.
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