Re: How to debate on CureZone?

"I appreciate your opinion, but I respectfully disagree."

This is a matter of perception. And when it comes to perception, there are as many different ones as there are individuals on this Earth.

A good example could be your own message above. All the answers to it so far were in agreement, but even each one had a different perception/angle of agreement! Nevertheless, how many people have read it and have not expressed their opinion? And among those who didn´t, how many were afraid to show their disagreement for fear of not being accepted, or loved or going against a father-figure, or, or, or? I, for one, found it to be friendly but slightly patronizing and mistaken, despite of the beautiful, common sense words used. If I were to read a poster who always behaved as you suggested I would not really respect his points of view but be driven away by the hypocrisy, patronizing and double-dealing involved.

For me and maybe many others, there is a BIG difference between saying: "You are a liar" and " What you are saying is a lie". The first is offensive name dropping and labeling yes,and obviously ineffective (but even in this case, it will depend on context), and the second points out to a fact, that may or not be distorted, but that´s another issue, and sometimes depends again on perception.

In my perception for posts to be objective, useful and respectful at the same time the one main requirement is sincerity, without name dropping but good arguments instead. You can be simultaneously polite and sincere, although that can be very hard at times. But again, lack of politness can be easily attributed to the effects produced by sincerity when dealing with "easily hurt" love-buying, and/or adulation and/or fear of rejection, all of which are childish behavioural/emotional patterns that most of us carry within. So this also has to be accounted for. There has to be broad-mindedness and flexibility when dealing with so many different people.

I think that the play of undisclosed interests and agendas should never be clouding any criteria for communication in support or Debate Forums , but we are humans and that is unavoidable. As is sometimes getting "hot" when disagreeing with people. Specially the ones who use these interests to undermine anyone who can be on their way. And as far as the disagreement does not "boil" into unjustifiable offensiveness, unreasonable emotional imbalance and stalking, it should be allowed and let simmer own it´s own, as it inevitably does.

And, on the bright side, we ALWAYS end up learning important lessons, IF we are open, receptive and as unbiased as we manage to be.


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