Re: I don't know what my next step is

Hi erinaceous,

I'm so glad that you have chosen to reach out. I've been where you are--I understand your pain and confusion. The difference between you and I is that you are young and in touch with the fact that life isn't working for you. This is a very positive advantage for you--acknowledging the problem is the first step toward healing. I didn't realize how bad off I was until I was well into adulthood. Looking back, I can see that I suffered from many of the same pains that you describe.

Children come into this world pure. It is the way our parents, or influential adults program us that make us emotionally healthy or not. I suspect that you come from a less than happy home.

You've probably been a pleaser from as far back as you can remember. I was too. It sounds like you may have had to grow up too fast, maybe you were relied on as a child to be a caretaker, physically or emotionally, for a family member. Whatever your situation is, your Depression is rooted in your upbringing.

Disfunctional families often produce children with undefined boundaries. What you describe is exactly that--undefined boundaries. Those that suffer from that will find that their life just doesn't work for them. I speak from experience. I was depressed for many years, had a multitude of problems, and made many bad choices. After working very hard and changing my patterns, I was able to raise two very healthy, happy, stable children through to adulthood. I parented completely opposite of how I was parented and it worked.

I want you to know that you can change your life. Don't give up, because the answers are within your reach. The way your life looks today is not the way it will always look.

I just published my memoir, Fine...ly: My Story of Hope, Love, and Destiny. I urge you to read it--you may recognize many similarities between you and I, and you'll see how I healed from it. I would like for you to email me and tell me how you are doing. finerandi@hotmail.com I care about you! Things will get better...just hold on.

For more info about me and my book visit my website: http://www.randigfine.com


Warmly,

Randi Tweet