"I feel sorry for you, your life must be such a miserable one, that your personality has grown to resemble it, or perhaps its the other way around, either way I pity you, but I don't hate you."
In my experience the inner always, always always creates the outer. Of course we can get into feedback loops that create a negative spiral but it goes thought...word....action. One can get feedback on the stage of life from previous thoughts and actions that seem to validate the next response and so the decent into hell begins.
That kind of mental sickness didn't just happen over night. This has been brewing for a very longggg time. No wonder the wife hit the eject button.
Resentment stacked on remorse stacked on jealousy stacked on hatred stacked on low self esteem.