Adult Child of a possibly borderline parent

I am the 30 year old daughter of a mother who I believe has BPD. She has officially been diagnosed with bi-polar and ADHD but I honestly don't think those diagnoses quite fit and from what I have read about BPD, it can be hard to diagnose in some people. From what I have read from the experiences of other adult children of BPD parents, my story seems pretty identical. I have read the symptoms and she has most of if not all of them.

The situation between me and her is at it's breaking point. Most of my adolescence and adulthood experiences have felt like I was the one expected to act like the adult. She tries to lean on me the way a child leans on a mother. Anyways, two years ago I got married and the whole process of trying to get her involved was difficult. She gave off the impression that she didn't want to be involved and when she did get involved all her comments were quite negative and as if she had better things to do. It ended with her leaving the wedding directly after the ceremony without telling anyone why and then I didn't hear from her for 2 years until recently.

She attempted to contact me and of course, acting as if nothing ever happened. So I asked her why she left the wedding. She went into this tirade of basically villanizing me, claiming that I was mean to her and twisting around things that were said and taking very mundane things very seriously and personally. This is common for my mom, she has a tendency to embellish things and to twist things and to completely absolve her responsibility in anything.

I have done the keeping a relationship with her at a distance thing and I just don't feel that doing that is an option anymore because it makes me feel guilty and I also feel it is almost enabling her behaviours and not helping her at all. I just don't know what my other options of dealing with her are at this point.
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