Re: Day 9 over and wondering what to do next?

hang in there I am here for you . I permanently got off triggering foods and got permanently onto my ideal diet and food behavior (never eating if eating is not absolutely OK with me... it is a long story but... that is how I am healthy) ... all of this 2 days ago... [the only asterisk being that I could not LOCATE one particular craved food so have gd damnit to SCHEDULE aNOTHER relapse [in about 1 month so] as to finally get the desire for that particular food out of my system -- I am ashamed of this but see no real alternative. and I am scared as hell by having to go back to this addicting substance so I have to just stay WAY on top if the whole process and not let it get the slightest bit out of control. i am so roughed up by this process of saying goodbye to the food. my consolation is that i am food-sober as never before (sprouts only diet) and this is Real and permanent and something I have been trying to achieve for 2 decades.... after stoppping the triggering foods the ALMOST-final time this time 2 days ago I started the fast again but only made it 29 hours... but only because of trying to do too many things at once. it was not a fast I was "truly serious" about, only wanted to fast as long as I could, and SEE if positivity struck me and seized me and made me fast for 21 days straight in a blaze of healing glory.
I have 2 full days of "food sobriety" not without anxieties but I am CLEAN .. though I do need a real fast. The idea behind this committed food sobriety for me is that (1) I really am a food addict with serious emotional and physical problems resulting from foods that are TO THE SLIGHTEST DEGREE triggering and (2) the food sobriety facilitates my fasting: fasting is what I MUST DO in order to get really well, there is no way around it; with food sobriety, there is no TEMPTATION to go off the fast (sprouts just are not worth breaking a fast for) and also I am less addicted to what I am eating in the first place so I don't feel DRAWN to food as much when fasting [in a context of food sobriety]. ... I do not prescribe for ANYONE, please keep in mind. I just have a lot of background in this addiction-recovery -type of thinking and food-as-a-drug type of thinking and it feels familiar and comfortable and therefore works for me for MY decision-making about MYself. I would never try to tell another person what to do for him- or herself.... I admire you fasting as long as you have and maybe now that I am clean I can start to fast longer. I MUST do it because I KNOW i need a fast NOW; I feel like such sh*t and I never wanna eat anyway, my body is so toxic (probably especially with the Final Triggering Food Farewell which wasnt so bad but I am as sensitive as hell) Please keep posting and post at as great a length and frequency as you can stand. I am sorry I am apparently a flake. I DO want to fast though and DO need to so a new fast is starting very shortly.