Re: God and Spousal Abuse

As a former victim of domestic violence, I see the correlation with God and spousal abuse. And to thicken the plot, I grew up with an atheist, scientist Grandfather and Grandmother was devout Presbyterian. Father was a non-conformist, hedonist, athlete, artist, and VIOLENT - Mother was uptight, prudish, rager/controlling, artist, VICTIM/volunteer. I was not going to be any of the above, so I drank and drugged through the 60's free love in a 99% Irish Catholic Mid-western community, where the fallout of guilt, shame, fear and Hell-fire was everywhere.

Yes, I eventually succumbed to exactly the abusive environment I hailed from. And I found relief from the spiritual dis-ease cycle of abuse and alcohol in 12 step rooms, where there was at least a wider door to GOD (whatever one's own conception). So no matter where I showed up, whether it be anti-God Grampa, or pro-God/religious Grama, or abusive Daddy bad guy God, or screaming Goddess Mama, or Principal God, or Policeman God, or Government God, or A.A.'s pick-a-God, they all left a bad taste in my mouth, which I rebelled against completely with a mouthful of booze, and even trying to change that required some kind of God idea -- one outside of me. And today I see the endless suffering and misery throughout history, in the name of GOD, and I have struggled to break FREE. I know today it is ALL an INSIDE job, but how many believe what they believe "just in case" and/or "on the off chance" there really is something to the HELL theory? We have strange ideas of Love in this world, amd even stranger notions of Higher Powers - all designed to keep the ego from harm.

(recovering from my Catholic neighborhood)
seek2clean