Re: My Baby Girl: Please Help!

Cattrina,

Bless your heart, I am going to make this post as kind and compassionate as possible, but as I read your description of the events leading to your daughter's injuries, I am going to state that something is terribly wrong and I am extremely concerned.  First of all, were you there to witness these events or are you taking your boyfriend's word for it?  I know that it is very difficult to accept that someone you love may be abusing your child behind your back, but it happens every day without the mother having a clue.  When the abuse comes to the surface, this becomes a crisis for the mother because not only does she have to deal with the injured child, but also with the betrayal inflicted by the one they love.  One cannot believe that our partner would inflict such harm behind our back.  The reaction is immediate disbelief, then as one comes to realize what has happened, betrayal, anger, grief, confusion, all types of emotions surface.  And this is what you are going through now.  Please realize that it is up to you to protect your daughter from anyone that harms her.  She is only a mere four months old.

Okay, let's go through the steps of the story, one-by-one, as you described them.

why he was jocking aroung face slapping her and she was fack kiking back just kidden around she started to cry

Why was this man joking around slapping a four month old?  The child was kicking back for protection.  Then she started to cry.  This is a big clue.  Obviously, the baby was not happy with this situation.  A baby has no means to protect themselves, no defenses.  Slapping is no form of play, not even for a child, much less a baby. 

and he though he hit her to hard so he picked her up and tryed to culm her she did at first then started crying again he got scared and though he was squezzing to hard so he let go he tried to ketch her as she fell but he only slowed her down she hill her head of her round about and hit the floor he pick her up and tryed to calm her after she was calm he checked her oven and took her in immidetly hopping she was ok luckly the hospital is in town

Let's look at the above paragraph step-by-step.  He thought he hit her too hard?  If someone is merely playing with a baby, why would there be concern that said baby was hit too hard?  Why was he scared that he was squeezing her too hard?  And then he let go?  And then she fell and hit her head?  Cattrina, something is very wrong here.  Your four month old baby was undergoing violent abuse.  Please look at this picture objectively.  It looks like he became exasperated with this baby for some reason.  Maybe she was crying and wouldn't stop?  From where I stand it looks like the slapping was out of anger and one thing led to another and became out of control.  Then he became either scared or sorry as to what he was doing and what ensued were attempts to calm the baby while becoming more frustrated and/or more frightened, inflicting more damage in the interim.  This is the normal profile and steps taken in abusing a baby.  Is it possible that this baby was forcibly "shaken" during this process?  This was not playing Cattrina, I would venture to say that this was anger.  I would also venture to say that this is not the first time it has happened behind your back, this is just the first time he was caught, the first time the baby got visibly hurt.  From the fractures that you describe, it is possible that it is not the first time the baby got hurt.  I also want to point out that forcibly shaking a baby can impair their spinal cord.

From what I have read of your account, the doctors made the right decision and this man belongs in jail.  Cattrina.......  What if he would have killed your baby?  Then what?

so now americans can play with there kids when did this law happen

Cattrina, this was not playing.  This was violence.  When a baby is playing, they are happy, laughing, they are not crying.  Even if I should be playing with a baby and that baby should not be in a good mood, or maybe not feeling well and starts to cry, I immediately stop playing and do not force the issue.  Forcing the issue in such a case is abuse. 

so we cant have accident well then americas screwed

Cattrina, this was no accident.  The only way that this was an accident is that his slapping in attempting to stop the baby from irritating him got out hand.  One thing led to another and the baby either ended up getting dropped or fell, injuring her head.  Cattrina, this is the way babies die.  Please see that this is most serious.

also st.john hospital is a joke they bsaid the found fracktures in her legs and arm the havent told me where exacly there at or showed me i asked them to and they wont they say that this chouldnt of bin an accident they dont know that and it WAS

The above sentence is most serious.  Your four month old baby has been undergoing violence when you have not been at home.  What type of accident or what type of playing would cause these injuries?  Cattrina, listen to the doctors, they are on your side and are doing what is right.  Please protect your baby.  She is helpless, innocent, and in no way deserves what she has been going through.  My gut feeling is, should you get back with this man, he will end up killing her.

The pattern of an abuser is that they will deny what they have done, lie quite convincingly, knowing that because of your love and trust for them, you will believe them and side with them when, in actuality, it is the injured child that you should be siding with, your child.  Your anger should not be aimed at the doctors and the system in this case, it should be aimed at your boyfriend which you should break contact with immediately. 

I don't know why they won't let you see the test results showing the fractures, but I sense there is more to this story that I do not know. 

I am sorry if my reply upsets you, but from your side of the story I see huge red flags.  Stop and look at this whole scenario objectively.  This, even in a playing fashion, is no way to treat a four month old baby.  I am going to implore you to get this man out of your life before a tragedy occurs.

My Best,

Luella