For your replies.....I really didn't expect any for I was just using last night and this board to vent. But I am on day 7 to better health and I am making a lifestyle change.
I believe what was in my mind/heart was the fact I should have came to this realization months/years ago and should have already been where I am SUPPOSE to be. But I can not change yesterday:-) I can only do what I can for today.
So, I am hanging in there and doing much better today actually. Thanks again and God's blessings!