It's Saturday Night....

And here I am sitting at home another weekend reading how others are out having fun...I can't believe I allowed myself to get to this size and I totally feel like not going anywhere...Everyone is out having fun, while most of my clothes do not fit except for the normal jogging/sweat pants and big/long T-shirts. Ask me how hot it is to be wearing that during the summer?

I attended my family reunion a huge cow, first one ever and haven't seen family in 6 years and I return fat. Usually the norm is to eat myself into a stupor because I am so down, but that doesn't help, it only cause destruction to my weight loss efforts. So at least that ONE thing has changed. I am so tired of sitting here weekend after weekend and there are women bigger sizes than me wearing nice clothes and hanging out, but yet I sit here....

I don't go to clubs/bars, I don't smoke/drink, but would like to go out to a nice restaurant or to a movie. But I am locked behind doors hiding in my shame of fat...I can't wait til I lose this weight so I can live again...right now I feel trapped in this body and this house.... Tweet