husband/father seeking advice

My 43 yr. old wife has recently been diagnosed with perimenopause. She is actively seeking treatment both medicinal and natural in addition to lifestyle changes, exercise, diet, etc, but noticeable changes are slow or non-existent at this point. I have been doing my bit by researching and reading as much as I can to try and understand what's happening and how I can best support her. However, her mood swings and emotions are totally out of control, especially when dealing with myself and our 3 yr. old son (she seems to have few or no problems with our 5 yr. old daughter though). She seems to not be able to believe or understand that I am trying to support her and help in any way I can and this is resulting in continued arguments and deteriorating communication. Can anyone give advice or recommend a forum, book etc. which might help her understand my and my son's perspectives in trying to be supportive but yet still deal with an often antagonistic person with highly charged emotions? It's becoming difficult to be supportive when the support offered meets resistance or when you see a mother regularly losing her cool over her 3 yr. old, totally our of her natural character.