Wake up Call!!

Well perhaps this is what people go through when the "moment of truth" finally hits them.

I've been smoking for about 30 years, about a half pack a day. Four years ago I changed to American Spirit Organic with the idea that you can keep smoking as long as you don't have all those nasty chemicals....!

This last week I went to Mammoth CA for a vacation. It is over 9,000 ft. Many years ago when I was a heavy backpacker I used to horse pack up in the Sierras over the timberline (over 10,000 ft). At the time I didn't know I had altitude sickness and would spend the first 24 hours sitting in the tent crying. It wasn't until I dropped to about 8,000 ft did I stop feeling horrible. And I even had a hard time walking down the mountain.

Fast forward to Mammoth. I tried to do some day hikes, and even small inclines were killing my lungs. I was friggin wheezing. My friends went on the trail without me, so I slowly walked alone and had to stop often.

I remember walking on the trail and thinking that this is exactly what emphysema would feel like. Imagine, down at sea level and still dizzy and unable to breathe. Hauling my oxygen tank behind me. Holy crap.

I think I've been deluding myself that I would not be one of the long time smokers that will be disabled by this habit. I patted myself on the back for smoking "good" cigarettes.

Shit. I love to smoke. I like the social part of it. I love the taste after food.

But that memory of trying to breathe on a very slightly elevated trail is haunting me from my oxygen deprived adventure.

It's time to quit. This is just bull.

My commute partner is a smoker. She would not smoke if I ask her. Getting in the car and not smoking would be the hardest habit to break of all.

I'm probably going to be on this forum a lot. I haven't decided whether I will go cold turkey or do something like a patch or what. This is all so new. I haven't even picked "the time" to quit.

I just know it's time. I have to do it. Tweet