I understand these are tough times for you my friend. I'm glad your girlfriend is still with you. I broke up with my girlfriend just as my scalp was starting to get bad (maybe a bad move, lol). It doesn't help in the confidence area that's for sure.
I'm no doctor, but I think you should be on 40mg twice a day. That's what my doctor has me on. Last month, I wasn't able to get to the doctor before my prescription ran out so I only took 40mg a day for 4 days until I got my refill and I had a bit of a flair up with my condition during this time. My point is that while 80mg a day is making a big improvement with my condition, 40mg helped very little.
Were you able to read the story I posted with the German doctors treating your condition with accutane/dapsone? I believe they were using 80mg a day. Maybe you could email them and talk to them about your condition. I think finding a doctor that specializes in scalp conditions is very important. The first dermatologist I saw had little experience so I searched until I found someone who did and the treatment I receive now is much better. I even emailed some some doctors in Europe that have experience treating FD and they all responded to my email questions. So, I wouldn't hesitate email mailing the German doctors.