nobody else seems to see it

Hi there!

I have just ended a relationship with someone who i am sure has NPD, anyway i suppose you could say it doesnt matter really what name it has - he was very cruel, sly and intimidating.

I told him i couldnt marry him and asked asked him to leave my home. he smiled and said ok no problem. no discussion nothing -apart from asking for the ring back! I gave him the ring gladly and he went on his merry way packing his stuff, having a laugh with his 'mates'on the phone(although im not sure he was talking to anyone).

I have got to the stage where i was not surprised by the reaction, but it had taken me alot of courage to do this and i was a bit shaken.

since then he has been texted me the odd thing to make me feel guilty. I am pleased to say i am way past this now and have learned that this is inevitable. but i still feel really shaken especially as my children hace been living with him too.

I guess if i could 'diagnose' him it would help me to forgive myself for letting him in to my life again after he almost destroyed me the first time. But a diagnosis might help me figure out why i put up with him for so long or spent so many years trying to 'improve' for his love and affection.

Nobody else seems to see what he really is. I should just walk away but i care how he affects others and how he affects other peoples' views of me. Especially as he is 'friends' with my sister and i have a feeling he is working his magic to turn her against me. She is very vulnerable at the moment - and he is very clever.

Or am i going mad? He says im paranoid and jelous but i know this is not true now.

He could be just plain nasty but his lack of empathy and coldness is disturbing. I have now realised my children were frightened. I feel terrible.

Any wise tips, guys. Feel i am fighting this on my own.

Comments please
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