Re: Should I leave because he's codependent?

Your last paragraph says it all "I've been told to run the other direction and seek counseling as to why I'm still holding on to this guy." There, quite simply, is your answer.

It's clear that he is a compulsive gambler. Tell me---I'm curious---where does a 23 year old get at least a hundred thousand dollars to gamble away? Is he a trust fund baby? Either way, it's clear that he isn't serious about getting help for his gambling problem. I'm guessing he won't get serious until he's dead broke and has pushed all his loved ones away. Do you want to hang around to see that happen?

Stop making empty threats. Tell him you're going to leave him if he doesn't stop gambling once and for all and then do it if he fails to get help.

Meanwhile, the first step for you should be going to a support group. I know there is al-anon for those who have alcoholics in their lives, naranon for those who have drug addicts in their lives. What I don't know is if there are any similar off-shoots from gamblers anonymous for those who live with compulsive gamblers. Take a look at their website to see what you can find out. Sometimes al-anon works just as well.

Whichever group meetings you attend, you will find out that you can't make him quit. Only he can make the decision to quit. You will also learn that you should never enable him in any way, shape or form.

So---time to move on. Start tomorrow and take that first step (group meetings). Then seek out a good counselor so you can work on being sure you aren't once again attracted to someone like him. Good luck! Tweet