Re: relax, go get tested

Hello Michael,

Many cities have free clinics where you can
go and get tested for free. This should be
something you do TODAY~! You have waited too
long and worked yourself into a state of
despair and there is a greater possibility
that you have no virus and that what you
need more than anything is to read your
negative test result and then begin your
healing journey to help your body work out
the stress and stiffness which fear has
enabled to take hold of you.

Nowhere in your descriiption did I see where
you were diagnosed as having any kind of virus.
Someone looking in on this event in your life
can see where you may have misinterpreted this
as a worse case scenario, when in actuality, it
could have been your own blood if you nicked
a finger, or it could have been a glob of
someone's lunch who touched the desk before you.
Of course, you have said your skin was not
broken and so my thinking leaps at first thought
to barbeque sauce or something way less threatening
than a contaminated blood sample someone smeared
there so some unsuspecting person would be infected.

Honestly, your story reminds me a lot of one that
my former husband went through. He developed a
pain in his shoulder. It got worse and he then
began holding his arm up, and in his mind, for
whatever reasons, he began to see all sorts of
worse case scenarios which he indulged to the
extent that he refused to go to the doctor because
he was sure he had bone cancer. Soon, many thoughts
began to revolve around his shoulder and it began
to consume his life and he became a ball of stress
and you can imagine the repercussions as he also
visualized his shortened life and just kept feeding
these fantasies with fear and indulgence. It became
so bad, people had to open doors for him and pick up
stuff since all he could do was hold his shoulder
up since his fear made him fearful of even moving
it. When it did hurt, it only reinforced his feelings
that it was just a matter of time before it was going
to rot off...etc. I finally put my foot down and said
I did not want to hear anything more until he got a
diagnosis of cancer. I even made an appointment and
took him to the doctor. Mind you this issue had been
a long term one and so I took him in and he was white
with fear and his body contorted with his efforts to
keep his arm and left side "still". I stood there
while the doctor listened carefully to all of his
fears and then he reached out and pushed on his shoulder.
Amazingly, the dislocated shoulder popped back in and
in that instant, the pain he had been feeling shifted
and he was stunned by an instant realization that he
had suffered needlessly for so long merely because his
fear of the worst had kept him from seeking treatment.

I hope you can see the similarity between this story
and yours. Imagine yourself going to the test lab,
getting tested, going home and looking yourself in the
mirror and saying to yourself, "YOU did it~!". It may
be a week or two or perhaps sooner, but do not let
that stress you out. This is a test you are going to
pass. You will feel so great when you do call or go
get your results and finally KNOW that in spite of all
the energy and fear and time you have spent imagining
that you have some death sentence, in reality, you are
actually fortunate to be healthier than you imagine.

NOW is the time for you to take your bull by the horns
and face the truth of the matter. You stand at a fork
in your life path and if you go down the path where you
will find a diagnosis, you will not regret going that
way. If you continue to believe the part of your inner
mental looping which is invested in convincing you
that you have suffered some fatal contamination, you
run the risk of robbing yourself of so much potential
for happiness and a return to normalcy.

Please say YES to yourself and if you are unable to
take yourself for testing, trust someone who loves
you to take you. It would not be the worst thing in
the world to be wrong either. The worst thing would be
to remain too afraid to find out the truth and to face
it. You have a 99% chance or more of this becoming a
story of success. You are the one however who has to
stop feeding the part of you which is thriving on this
fear.

Your neck will recover easily once you have been
reassured that you are actually NOT infected with
anything harmful like HIV or hepatitis. You would
do well to go get some professional massage and this
will help your neck muscles relax and lengthen.

Please come back and share your good news with us.
I hope you do not keep us waiting long as it is sad
to think you are suffering needlessly.

Go, today~~!

blessings,
Zoe

-_-