I love your post!

I had one of those. But the timing was different. We were 13 at the time. He was so gorgeous. Eventually I ended high school as a "hippy" and he was the home coming king. We totally went opposite ways, but I always thrilled seeing him in the halls. We sort of got together on Grad Night. Then for some weird reason we had annual reunions with two friends we hung out with in Jr. High. Every year for 5 years.

Then I spent the night with him on the fifth year. He avoided me like the plague after that. It wounded me to no end, and I can't believe I'm still remembering and hurting from that at the age of 52. Well I'm not exactly hurting, but remembering in a hurtful way.....

It's the old shoulda, woulda, coulda syndrome. It's a pretty horrible thing. It keeps you from completely loving your life now.

Be happy for the closeness you had with this guy. Consider him your HUGE learning experience. If you ever see him again, I'd suggest you think of it like that also. It could be trouble if you let your romantic life to seep into your reality life.

And honey, in the end he is not the perfect man. Had you stayed with him, he would have had stinky sweat socks, skidders in his underwear, farted in bed, and had some sort of weird dysfunctions just like your present husband. And you would always have been trying to be someone else (the supposed better you) just for him. I'm sure your husband met you and did not have the same expectations. That's a truly wonderful thing, because we are definitely not perfect ourselves. We can only be grateful to have someone love you for just how you are....right now.

Go ahead and use him as an old dream. It can make for a rich fantasy life. But don't let it go into that....shoulda, woulda, coulda....we can do that until we drive ourselves mad.

Love, Molly