The Wound Of Abortion/ Suicide Precautions

It is so very difficult to discuss the impact of abortion without it opening a major can of worms! This is a very hot issue which gives rise to a great deal of emotion and religious and political mud-slinging... and many people sidestep the obvious in order to avoid getting caught in a heated debate. Regardless of the political or religious opinions involved... there is no disputing that the loss of an unborn child has a profound impact.... whether by abortion or miscarriage... and on BOTH the woman and the man.

Unfortunately it is next to impossible to find sources of information that are completely unbiased and free from the influences of political and religious subjectivity. Nevertheless... the following links may help you in better understanding some of the dynamics that have been transpiring in your relationship... and particularly with your ex-girlfriend...


http://www.lifeissues.net/writers/air/air_vol6no4_1994.html



http://www.cwfa.org/articledisplay.asp?id=3111&department=CWA&categoryid=life


Again... abortion not only effects women... it also effects men....


http://www.lifeissues.org/men/Impact.html



http://www.menandabortion.info/l0-aftermath.html


Since this is such a profound experience that you've shared together... this creates an emotional bond between you that is very difficult to severe. And because the effects of the abortion can have such a strong and lasting impact on both of you and your future relationships... you might consider working together towards healing this wound for both of you... regardless of the any further potential relationship as a couple. I would suggest, however, that you maintain focus on the present and and on your respective healing... rather than on what may happen regarding any relationship together in the future. You might also carefully consider the consequences of any further sexual contact with her. The power of sexual energy has a far greater influence on us than we realize... and the repercussions are much more significant... even in the case of casual encounters.



I would also advise you to take her talk of suicide very seriously. You've indicated that she is disposing of possessions... which can be a major red flag of suicidal behavior. The fact that she also has a history of drinking increases the possibility of suicide significantly. Please do not make the mistake of assuming that her talk of suicide is purely manipulative behavior! People who eventually commit suicide usually have a history of mentioning this as an option. And even if she were to make an attempt in order to seek attention... there is always the possibility that she would die in the process. I have previous experience with working on a crisis hotline and any discussion or attempt at suicide should NEVER be taken lightly! Should she succeed in killing herself... this will also have a powerful and lasting effect on you that is much better avoided.

If she contacts you again and mentions suicide... I would advise you to take immediate action. Find out exactly where she is and maintain contact. Also contact her local FIRE department and tell them she is having a medical emergency. The reason for calling the fire department instead of the police... is because police are less likely to enter her home due to concerns about lawsuits for breaking and entering. The fire department is more focused on safety... and would be far more likely to break the door down if need be. You want to be careful in how much information you initially tell them to maximize the likelihood that they will intervene. If they believe that her emergency could potentially jeopardize the safety of others they will enter her premises without any further question. Once you have made this contact... do your best to re-establish contact with her... and get as much information as you possibly can regarding any specific suicide plan that she might have... including any substances that she has ingested or access she has to substances and weapons. Do your best to stay with her on the phone until the fire department has arrived... and then give them any information that you were able to obtain. This will assist them in evaluating her and determining the appropriate course of action. Although the consequences to HER of doing this are rather unpleasant... you must weigh the consequences for YOU of the options for yourself.

Best wishes for you both!