Thank you Luella May

Thank you Luella.
I just read your letter on Searchwap.com (My dad said...Goodbye forever).

Your letter touched my heart, as I have this same "demon" next to me all the time (from both my parents). Unfortunately I have become this demon to my children too. Lucky I have a long way to go with them still as they are quite young (not yet in school)... You made me realise what I am doing to them, and why...

I don't need to be like my parents to my children. This is the day I change my life and start loving my children more than anything in this universe. And if I cannot do this for them, then they don't deserve a father like me in their lives.

I will try my best to be a loving (not more loving) father, and care for them with all I have. If I fail and realise I am falling back into the thoughts and ways of my parents (who are still alive, and still have me as an adult living in fear of them) then I will have to say goodbye forever to my children, and end my life.

No child or being on this earth should ever have to face this demon in their life. What are parents there for if not to prtect, love and guide their children?

I thank you for opening my eyes, making me see that I have this demon over me, and though my parents are alive, I need to overpower this demon and face my fears in the face, and change my life, so that my children can have a wonderful life and be happy with their father (laugh, sing, dance, play and be joyful).

And to think I found your note while thinking of suicide and not knowing what to do in life to change the way I am. Maybe I should give myself one last chance to be the father my children deserve and need, if I can't and I fail then there is no reason to avoid death.

Forever thankful to you.
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