all healing is self-healing

I can understand your frustration a bit
because when I was sick and told it would
take 7 years to "come clean", I did not
want to hear that. I think I would have
preferred the "take this pill and be
healed" tact. This was not the case however,
and is not the case for you if you are
really seeking health. One *major* thing
I found was that I could not follow a healing
protocol and stay in the same living situation
which contributed to my original state of
illness. I was fortunate enough to have a
friend who was willing to share his space
with me, as well as his knowledge of all
things wholistic. It was not quite as strict
as going to a monastery but almost as. It
was a place to step out of the path before
me, I called my life, and to reflect and
plan, and focus on change so I could travel
the path before me, or to spend time with
myself in the present, in a healing mode.
I realized I was not ready to leave and
so the courage to change was found in many
moments of stillness and reflection. It
did take time but it was time well spent.

I noticed in some of your posts you say
that you were/are unable to stick with a
diet, or be consistent in following through
with one issue before trying to take on more.
I have found in my own healing experience
that once you understand that healing takes
time, going at it in such a way that you
are not precipitating full blown healing
crises with die-off and blowing your adrenals
etc. is easier long term than declaring war
on the things in your body you may have been
carrying for years. So, hopefully, you can
see the emotional component. You need to
want to heal more than you want to enable
the freeloaders in your body to party hearty.

You also need to consider though that the
filters in your body can only handle detoxing
as a certain rate. Pouring sand through a
funnel will not go faster because you pour
more in. It is more prescribed than that and
so if you adopt what is known as a "cycling"
approach of cleansing and rebuilding, you can
find your own rhythm and actually fall into
step with being more aware of how your body
manages its internal systems.

If you have bucks to spend, you may consider
going to a healing center where you allow
others to help bring you back into balance.

This is not to say that this option, or another
of going to be with someone away from your
current situation would be easy. It could easily
be your biggest challenge. Still, at your age,
you should be fighting for your life. You seem
to know there is more for you when you have
reached your sense of wellness. Ultimately, it
is your choice. It also involves falling in
love with yourself so that you care enough to
you to do what it takes to regain your health.
Right now, you do not sound so sure that you
are worth it. You want to challenge others to
make you well but the truth is that you must
want to take up that challenge for yourself,
no matter how much help you may manifest.

Contact me if you are in the Texas area. I would
be willing to work with you...

blessings,
Zoe

-_-