Re: how can I release this one?

Happy to meet you Beth, you seem to have gone a long way, I'm glad you made it and went so far. You seem to have the gift of all the people who "have moved from their story", that is that of being able to vibrate at a great depth of compassion.

Things we do to ourselves, eh?

I've always thought that the reason I was here now was to be able to shift to another plane. The plants didn't openly suggest me to change purpose, but they explained me things regarding this plane that would make it easier for me to stay.
Some of these things they explained to me were quite similar although formulated very differently to the LOA, especially as explained by Abraham. I had read Ask and It Is Given 2 years ago, but I had many objection on this way of seeing things back then. I even had a quarrel with Invincible about it, maybe she remembers it. But I trust what plants told me and here I am, facing a big change of paradigm, once again in my life. The funny thing for me is that at the point where I am I find it quite difficult to have specific desires, a part from the desire to shift.
What I especially desire regarding the shift is to be able to perceive reality with the clarity and depth that I have while in shamanic sessions. One doesn't know true happiness and thrill until one has gone in the so-called beyond. It is something unbelievable, when that 95% of our brain that we normally don't use wakes up and begins to support the many many levels of your consciousness. It is something unforgettable. Carlos Castaneda says that when you come back from the beyond earth feels like drinking toilet water, that's a bit gross, but sure not one time I was glad to come back. Now I hope I will be a bit more happy to do so.
I think that the reason why I got overweight is that I had a child, he is the one who chose to come here but as I love him I was not happy to see him here, and maybe even be obliged to stay and not shift not to break my promise to take care of him. I trust the way he came to me (which is a beautiful story for another time) and that he came from the love between Erik and me, but until now I couldn't look in his eyes and give him promises of a beautiful future, and it broke my heart.
But enough with sad stories, here I am, ready to embrace it as it is. One can never go wrong with some extra love.