Verbal harassment is just as bad as hitting

Honey, there are many women out there just like you...in fact too many.

I was like that too. It belittles you to a point that you start to believe that you ARE incapable of doing anything. The onslaught just goes on and on. And if you are isolated, you have no one to tell you how incredibly capable, and wonderful you truly are! That's the gist of this kind of relationship. And the more down-trodden and meek you are, the more they feed on it.

This is classic.

By the time I left my ex-husband I thought I was unlovable, un-sexy, stupid, incapable of simple things, too this, or too that, whatever caught his eye that day. The whole thing was demoralizing, and because he did eventually hit me, I was so embarrassed. Deep down I knew what he was doing was wrong, wrong wrong. But at that point I was like a kicked dog.

Imagine that? A kicked dog. Tail between it's legs everytime the master approaches.

Yikes girl.

So let me ask you. I bet you're great with those kids (don't listen to his voice in your head please). I bet you are great at many things. Perhaps cooking, sewing, artistic, funny, athletic, smart, accomplished in something. Heck, even if you are not accomplished is some huge thing, my dear you are a human being that deserves respect. NO ONE should make you feel like less than a capable human. NO ONE should disrespect you, especially your partner.

Time for some big reality time. I suggest this.

Call one of the local domestic abuse lines. Tell them that you simply would like a support group right now. When you find one in your area GO TO IT. Don't be afraid. You will find many women that are in your position, and some in worse positions.

When you go to the support group, be completely honest. It's a safe space. Don't be defensive. They want you to tell the truth so that they can support you in the way you need. They will not just start trashing your husband and tell you to leave him. Those women have been through what you are dealing with, and if anyone understands, a group of women like this will.

The support group is key.

Honey, you need to work on hijacking your self respect back. The man is stealing it, slowly but surely.

Last thing. Remember how you were...you know, way back when? When you were more independent? Before kids, how were you? That's the woman you need to find again. She's in there, believe me. And she's sort of pissed at this behavior. Can you blame her?

Hang in there kiddo. I'm rooting for you.

Molly