Why am I so stupid?

Loneliness is when you lost the direction in life. It is the hollow part of your heart that can never be filled up with unless you have got what you need. It is what I believe. I went through this horrible break up with my ex-gf and it pretty much destroyed my life. Or maybe my life was just back to the origin. I never could make friends. My family is poor, so I never got any pocket money to go out with frds. Yet I never got any skill in communication. I'm a one dumb boring guy who doesn't even know how to talk. I have been always hated my life, feeling loneliness and depressed. It was only until I went out with my ex-gf, my life got lightened up as in the sky is finally bright. But guess wt's next? She dumbed me becox she was in love with my frd who offered me a place to live when I was homeless and away from family. She didn't go out with this guy but she went on dating one of my other frd!!! What was that part in my life? R they really my good frds or enemies? I had no idea but to go crazy, I feel like I have this mental problem that I should forgive them and move on. But then I went on crazier and crazier like I didn't know myself anymore. All this time seeing them holding hands, kissing and hugging while I was pretending to be cool with everything!! It gave me no space, air and time to breath. The most ridiculous thing was that my ex thinks that I'm such a stupid and that her bf is way smarter than me. Then I went on trying to be better. Does it make a difference? Time will never fall back and the one who got hurt is me. Only until 3 months ago that I started hooking up with this gl that I see the light in the other side of this dark dull tunnel again. I'm really stupid. This gl hooks up with other guys around me and see other guys outside as well. I couldn't endure anymore so I chosed to let go. Logically, why would it worth wasting time on her? The logical answer is not to care her anymore but I still do! Why am I so stupid? Everytime I see hooking up with and hitting on other guys, the pain in my heart can never stop and it's getting worse. My life is lonelier and lonelier. I want to sleep but my mind cannot stop giving me pain. These headache and heartache are cutting me. Life is so meaningless and I'm just blindly walking on, life a walking corpse without a soul.