Re: negative thoughts..humbling?
Well, the horrible things you have thought need to be dominant thoughts + you must have an expectancy they will happen + lots of emotion about them in order for them to manifest. Good thing we have space-time on this planet :-) Imagine if manifestations were immediate!
It's like watching horror movies .. we may be focusing on the scenes, but most realise they are just fantasy, so are not dominating their thoughts that they will all come true.
Maybe you can try creating some intentions to help you find easy solutions to the release of these issues that stop you moving on. Sort of bridging goals.
So, right now, you have contradictory thoughts that zig zag .. you have things you want, yet you are also saying to the universe that you aren't ready to receive.
Another place to focus, is to intend that you find things that keep you excited (rather than bored of easily)