breaking free of the patteren

Noticed that know one has posted for 5months now...Anyways hope you guys start posting again,would love some advise, feed back or even just a hello-I will keep posting and reading through the rest of the postings as it is both therapeutically and inspirational to me .. It feels good justs let it out..

PATTERN-A CONSTANT REPATITION A CYCLE
Today I'm doing alright,he has not yet started calling me.You see its a pattern before he use to call right after a huge fight and call me about 30 times a day and I would give in after a few days of him calling and stoking me.
Now its changed, he usually starts calling after 2-3days after a huge fight at least 20 times for the day and I usually ignore it for about three weeks. And after 3weeks of him constantly calling and pleading,("I'm sorry" ,"I was wrong", "I promise I will change","I love you", "You cant do this to us")I give in..??..I'm more aware of the pattern now and I'm sure he is too. He thinks he has me down and thinks oh she will never leave me, no matter what do her, "she loves me"I'll give her couple of weeks she'll be back".

I'm going to use this as outlet a way to log my thoughts and to also reflect back and remind myself that I never want to return to that hell no matter what.that his "i'm sorry's" are nothing but lies just another way to control me and manipulate me.

I miss the person I was 6 years ago and I want her back, I want this bitterness,hurt,anger,regret,fears,these walls that have put up and around me to go away.

ps : can someone tell me how to get ride of that bruce lee picture -I dont like it and it was just automatically put on.
Peace and Love lady sunshine