Final word

I said to myself I would not check these forums again but I did today because I - I don't know why. Maybe I have handled this wrong, looking at things from a healthy neutral perpective, I definitely have handled things wrong. But where I am now, there is no concept of right or wrong for me - do you understand the feeling of unknowingly giving yourself a disease with no return, trawling through tons of information only to find people have tried everything known to man to no avail. Knowing that if you only put into your body only things your parents would and have, you would be fine and healthy today. When you're whole existence came down to one mistake - you constantly think of who you are and what you mean to everyone around you, how they will cope with what's coming and when you're gone, and what they are left with, my family in Greece who I've neglected seeing all these years while I've studied, etc - to know you have one chance in life and to blow it. When anyone this feels like then tell me what would be rational or not.

Regardless of what you think of me, humaworm did trigger this, but I took it on my accord - I can and have blamed humaworm, but ultimately I blame myself every second of every day. Humaworm was not shoved down my throat. And I recently told my neuro about this and he said "who told you you had parasites?" and conceded this may or may not have caused this. I suspect from his tone and look that he knew this was the cause but didn't tell me as such to prevent me from the added torture of self-blame.

To someone with ALS, the word 'healing' has lost all meaning. Regardless of what you do and what you take, you twitch every minute of the day knowing that every twitch brings you closer to losing your independence and the end of everything. Go to an ALS forum and read some posts there, and try to think what life would be like having ALS for one day of your life.

Yes i'm bitter and I hate myself for it. I know a lot of people have sent me their symapthy and kind words, and I am grateful for that, but the next moment I'm alone the same thoughts of reality enter my mind and all else is pushed out. So think I'm a liar, either way my situation doesn't change.

My initial message of herbs may harm was met with denial and ridicule, so I then turned nasty. That's pretty much how the vitriol began and continued. That is all. Tweet