Re: PLEASE HELP! 23 Month Old Emotional Problems Out of Control

Hi BL,

Are your older kids at home or around a lot? I have a friend who said her 5th was her most difficult because he seemed to feel very possessive of her (as your little boy sounds!) and commanded all of her attention when she and he were home alone together.

I would avoid the usual food triggers that can exacerbate mood swings and emotions in general (white breads, sugars, processed food, etc.). I can see my 2.5 y.o. twins fall apart fast if they have Sugar or too much white bread, when in the same circumstances without the food they would be/have been fine.

24-30 months for us has also been a time of heightened emotionality in general and one of my girls is extremely attached to me. What has worked when they have asked for more than I can give (i.e., when like you I don't seem to have time to clean the kitchen, start laundry, etc.) is to first and foremost spend good time with them. I get caught up in what I am not getting done and have to remind myself that as their caregiver and mother and sole entertainer during the day, I have to pay attention to them first. Yesterday I gave up a lot of my ambitions for a while and sat and did puzzles, etc. -- figuring that I was going to "lose" anyway, so I might as well have a fun time with it.

However, things like going to the bathroom for you, etc. -- I don't think 23 months is too early to be able to understand waiting for a couple of minutes, etc. When mine are fussy and it's not nap time but they get in the way (and I mean, we have a small kitchen and when they are running in between my legs when I am trying to cook lunch, etc.) I will set them in their cribs for the time it takes me to do what I need to do, and I try to do this before I get frustrated with them. I give them a book and a toy and ask them to be patient while I get a few things done. Then I am always happy with them when I go get them, and excited to "show" them what I have done. I had terrible migraines this summer and sometimes I was so ill I could not watch them, so I had to trust that they would be OK in their cribs for a little while, and they always were.

Another thing that is helpful is to get them out for a while -- where they have no competition for my attention. That always seems to improve their mood for the rest of the day.

And it's important for you to get out alone to some degree. That always replenishes me and I come back feeling much more ready to give them undivided love and attention. And I say a prayer all day long that I am shown how to give the girls what they need in a loving manner -- and then I trust what follows!

Hope this is helpful, and I hear you on the doctor front. We have had a horrible time with pediatricians and vaccinating and I don't take them anymore.

Laura Tweet