NDE and Charlie Brown

Do I want to be like Charlie Brown and who never gives up but never wins? Do I keep falling into a body that burns....over and over...and never learn the lessons of death and dying? I can shed religion and fall into a body that rejects god...or I can be a hateful religious tyrant...and still collect bits of love from each life I fall into but when will my need to keep falling end?

I have had religious experiences that opened my eyes for the need to change my world view. I prayed to a loving God before I had that first experience...and always asked for forgiveness of my sins...post nde, I know my sins are forgotten in heaven...and today I do not ask for my sins to be forgiven...they already have been...but the NDE put the onus on me to turn from being unloving to be loving to everyone and to hold no unlove for strangers...more to reach out into the world of strangers...to walk a mile in their shoes...therefore the stranger becomes less strange...they somehow become me in that moment...so then forgiveness is possible for strangers when I forgive myself...the circle of strangers become enlarged for me every day...for those that lash out toward me and others I love...but as I expand who I know the light in heaven loves... I begin to see that we all do what causes the least pain for us... for me today it is less painful to be loving and kind to strangers than it is to be fearful of them...that breaks the strangeness off of them...

A greater revelation came to me when I became homeless....rejected by my own family...by everyone I loved...broken...shattered... I found out that the light in heaven who is love would never leave me...even if every human being on earth rejected me...

...the NDE was my greatest revelation but I could have come to all of these conclusions without the NDE...but it may have taken seeming countless lives to wake up to how souls are being fooled by a lesser aspect of God into falling away from love...creating a trillion and more Gods that are all trying to create their own universe in their own image... Images flash before my eyes that twist me away from the light of love but this lesser aspect of God is still more loving than me...he gives us what we deserve...while we who were fooled try to take more than we give... His world is a balance of giving and receiving... but I don't want to play his game anymore... It always ends the same...we consume each other by killing what we love in each other...a mean little game... I am still here consuming so I have some lessons left to learn about death and dying...consuming... but if it were up to this heart breaker me.... I would quit breaking hearts and learn to live off of love(forgiveness, joy, & kindness) itself...walk a foot off the ground and hurt nothing at all...but here in the underworld...every step I take bruises something or someone... every word I speak or write....will offend someone... The game only ends when we refuse to fall into bodies that die...

When I get to the other side again... I am going to plant inside my soul a desire to only come back to a world free of death and dying...to quit sending me back to the matrix of illusions where souls and spirits injure one another... You see...when we are in heaven we feel no pain...so we get easily tricked into falling again...life after life... but we have free-will...
we can decide to quit falling into bodies that burn... It is not up to some judge in the sky but it is we who decide to quit playing with illusions of pain... The lesser aspect of God is just doing his job...giving each what we deserve... I found a greater love who loves me regardless of what I say or do....and as I get closer to this perfect love... the illusions of separation
diminish...time ends...stillness... I still get to keep the loving aspects of the illusions I experienced that have been filtered by love...but greed for more and more of those images keeps our souls falling back to collect more... I hope I will only come back again if death and dying are vanquished... if I can get that rascal higher self to quit dumping me here...with that football being pulled away by Lucy...right before I get a chance to kick that ball through the goal...never arriving...always falling on the ground again... Tweet