Baby Talk - yuck

I made a guy jump out a second story window. Yep, I would rather have had him die than to have my roommates see me with him.

The last man on earth I would ever have considered sleeping with. Again, a beer keeger at school (are you starting to see an alcohol/promiscuity theme here?). He was not my type. He didn't seem especially smart. Not that great looking. Don't know...it was the 70's.

So it went something like this. We proceeded to do it about...hmmmm, maybe 20 times that night. I am not lying. And he would say in this baby voice "kiss it". Yikes. And then he started to talk in a baby voice in between. I've never wanted someone to leave so bad in my life, but I was a polite person. FINALLY it ended, and then all of a sudden it was morning. And he wanted to do it again - NO WAY. My roommates were up making breakfast....there was no way to get him out the door without being seen.

So I told him to jump out the window. And he did!! OMG. Nothing broke thank goodness.

Two years after college I saw him on the street in Berkeley. I was with a group of friends. So I went up to him to say Hi, and he just looked at me and told me to go away...NOW. I couldn't believe it, what had I done? So I quickly walked away.

He caught up to me a couple of blocks down, huffing from running. Apparently he was an undercover cop on a stakeout and I came up to him at the wrong moment.

I'll tell you, for those two blocks I felt horrible. I thought I'd really hurt him. And then he put his arm around me and asked me if I lived up high or on the ground floor now, wink wink, nudge, nudge.....he said this in a "baby voice"....OMG....I got out of there as fast as I could. Eeeewwww.

My girlfriend standing next to me remarked...."Gee, he must have been the one that got away!!" And I said "No, he's the one I pushed out a second story window so that I could get away".

Baby talk...the absolute worst. Any boys reading this, do not do it. Don't ever think a woman will think it's cute, we will be repulsed. We will tell all our girlfriends you do this, and it will get around. You will never sleep with anyone ever again in the area. At that point you will need to leave the state to get any action. It's the best advice I can give.






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