What am I doing wrong? Gruesome pains for years now.
I wasn't sure where to post this question, I hope this is appropriate.
I have constant cramps on one side of my body. I can rarely relax my right side fully. It's horribly painful to the point of fainting or tiny blackouts. I don't take any medicine.
It's worst around my right side neck, shoulder and lower back/abdominal muscles. IT's also visible.
I'm scared of breathing deeply all day long because some breaths make a cracking noise up my spine which is also horridly uncomfortable and scary. Also I tend to put my head way to the right when not constantly correcting my self all day, every minute, every second. If I don't consciously force my neck to the left, I end up almost with my chin on my right shoulder. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, which is part of why I'm so scared to breathe properly. It's been going on for 2 years now.
I can't look people straight in the eyes, because my eyes are also misaligned at this point and I feel awful knowing what they see. Often I can't look at my self in the mirror.
I don't have scoliosis, my doctor has checked. He sent me to several physiotherapists for winging scapula. That didn't help in the long run. I did daily yoga for a month. That didn't help either. I've tried daily breathing exercises, I freak out having to do them.
I've been playing the oboe since a child and not by my own initiative, but my moms. The instrument is pretty heavy and all the weight goes on one hand carrying it all in an angle for hours every day. I can't play anymore. I also danced argentine tango which has a very asymmetric embrace, the same arm stretch out in an angle for many hours every day. I started playing the guitar thinking that at least there's a lot of work on the left hand side there, but it actually seems to have contributed to the issue because of the lifted right elbow as well. I feel twisted internally, it hurts to breathe deeply and I can't do any of the things I love to do. My right eye, jaw, shoulder, wrist, neck, ribs, hip and butt muscles ache and feel like they are burning.
I can't afford a chiropractor and I've been told they mainly work with the spine itself, not winging scapula or so.
My parents are quite distant emotionally as well as physically, I only talk to my dad once every 2-3 months online and never talk to or see my mom, so I have no one to talk to about it, no one I trust anyway. I'm 24 years old female. I eat a low fat high carb healthy vegan diet, I'm at a good weight and have no nurtitional defficiencies. I quit smoking a month ago. I have water fasted for this for 9 days, it didn't help.
I'd really like to work with my body, become strong and fit, but I don't dare doing stuff that might make things worse.
I hope someone can suggest what I can do to better my self.
Thanks.
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