thanks 
princess farfala
17 y
1,413
Lugol’s Iodine Free S&H
J.Crow’s® Lugol’s Iodine Solution. Restore lost reserves.
Original Dr. Hulda Clark
Hulda Clark Cleanses
Me again!
I find it important to say ThankYou for readind me. Ive been posting for only a few days but I am positive about the fact that it is helping me much.
For one; it's geting me out of the house, giving me some mission! Lately, the only things that would force me out were the dreaded visits to the doctor (I use to cancel a lot but am now commited to go, good day or not) or my nightly escapade to get my Binge supplies! In those moments, I catch myself walking like a convict, shoulders down, head low, unable to look at anybody in the eyes. Its usualy when I'm that stressed that I go for the ugliest food, items that will surely numb my body, my mind for as long as possible...part of me is crying "give me junk so everything will become cloudy and cold so i wont have the energy to face the fact that my life is so little, so sad"
Yes, posting here is therapeutic. I am making a point of being honest with you and above all with myself. I cannot share the fears and joys of my present situation with many...Like if I'd tell my Mom that I'm so glad cos I didnt binge yesterday implies that I DO binge on other days and that i'm not comfortable with. She's aware of me being depressed but not so much more...and I dont want do become a weight for the few friends I'm still in touch with.
There may b only 2 or 3 of you reading me and thats just fine. Geting your replies fills my heart with joy but I'm not EXPECTING u to do so...knowing the way I am I'd start feeling down when u dont!!!
English may be my second language but I love it...and by the way, reading the dictionary if one of my tricks to avoid a binge! Sometimes it works, sometimes not!
Enough for today. Just know that I am grateful for you being there!
Sof*- Re: thanks #69242
17 y
1,438
MoreThis is a reply to # 952,779Hi Sophie!
Glad you had that good day. It is good that you got out to talk to the neighbors a little. I know that when I used to suffer from bad Acne I used to go to work, but almost no place else. Looking back, no one treated me any differently back then compared to now. It was all in my head. Eating disorders are a little like drug and alcohol problems. There is a lot of sneaking around. Both of my brothers suffered from drug/alcohol problems and both have gotten better. It is tough to beat alone. Both were in rehab several times and are in the AA program now. Anyway, magic_glitter hurt her hand badly yesterday. She was juicing some fruit and her hand got sliced in the blender. She lost her nail and got a bunch of stiches in her finger. Lets hope she recovers all right. If you go to the Ask Curezone forum you can see her posts. Keep us posted on your progress!
- Re: thanks bella12984
17 y
1,555
This is a reply to # 952,779hello girls ( and guys if there are any)
i've been away for the last three days so i wasn't on so i just was catching up in here. i was just really excited to see that everyone was posting again =)
i am so very proud of you hun you are doing so good posting in here and getting out all your emotions. that's such a huge step, and something that i can't do yet, at least the really honest ones that you so painfully put up. however, everytime i read how you feel and all the emotions you have and you go through are so similiar to how i feel. i have most of the same emotions, feelings, and mannerisms (sp) that you do it's always kind of weird reading your posts...are we related ;)
oh, and you have amazing english. i write so improper i'm sorry its just a really bad habit. oh, and i wanted to let you know that i didn't go on my water fast, i am going to begin with a few detoxes (parasite, liver, and bowel) then i'm going to do a juice fast and hope that will allow me to have some control over my body. that's all i'm begging for at this point. i'm still eating raw if i keep anything down, but if i have anything at all that isn't i feel horrible and just eat until i get it all out. some times are better. some points i feel like i'm completely cured or all better, and other times i think that i'm never going to change that i can't beat it. my feelings go up and down all the time. but each day is a new day and if i learn to live like that i think i can take it more in stride.
i'm also considering seeing a therapist after reading your posts. i've been telling myself for a long time i can get better on my own, even as i write this down now i'm thinking i dont have to do that anymore i can jsut stop, but i'm just kidding myself. i even write down in this forum and others and try and not have this issue. i really want to give these cleanses and fast a try because if i can control myself and get myself to do it then that would mean that i controlled that situation and therefore i would be able to control myself afterwards...??? right??? anyways
i love posting on here also and i think that you all are great!
- Re: thanks princess farfala
17 y
1,576
Lugol’s Iodine Free S&H
J.Crow’s® Lugol’s Iodine Solution. Restore lost reserves.
Original Dr. Hulda Clark
Hulda Clark Cleanses
This is a reply to # 953,534
Yes what you are saying about the clenses make lots of sense, and if you would happen to b in my head u would probably meet the same kind of thoughts!
Detox must be the reason why I was born! Get dirty so I can purge it all out and feel amazing relief! Ive been stuck into such cycle for years and i must say it is a little too exausting! Im sure Ive still got plenty to learn but it feels like I know everything about the matter! colonics, enema, this and that flush, herbs...I get obsessed...and the more I read or talk about it, the more dirty I feel...At some point I had the feeling I was this toxic bomb about to explode. I think thats about when I started my 50 days of MC...
Funny enough, my neibourgh calls my place the shit shop becose of all the pills, herbs and laxative teas on the counter...and how hard it is to stop myself from buying the newest or strongest ones!
I went to a fasting and detox retreat in thailande last year. believe me, I didnt want to leave the place! I was not even walking but floating! wow I had some fasting friends, I could help them since I was feeling so strong about what I was doing(and use to it).I WAS IN CONTROL! I ended up being on water only for so long(18 days or so), the staff nearly forced me to start eating again...it was a fight, I had in my mind that they only wanted to stop me cos I was so clean, cleaner then anybody and they were jealous!(so untrue!) I see photos of that time and Im amazed how skinny I got! Back in Bangkok I was nervous about my return home...the last few days of my trip was an endless binge...
Back at work, going away for 2 3 or 4 days, I was so scared of eating anything that would trigger a binge, my solution was to fill my suitcase with 10,15 grapefruits and eat only those until Id come back home...some mono diet! half the time it would work but sometimes, being so tired Id start eating anything in sight on the aircraft, thats horrible, I think that is one of the reason that Im scared of going back to work... I can still see myself stuffing myself hiding in the stinky whasroom...shame shame shame
Theres a differance between doing some spring cleaning and developing an obsession. Only you can determine how far u can go.(and if I can b of any help Id be glad) The problem is that the bulimia has such a loud voice.We must learn to listen inside...and see whos speaking!!! It is the same with exercise and compulsions... I think u should use your membership,and maybe make a deal with yourself that youll go only 4 times a week or someting.If they offer any yoga class, this is so good for the mind. tell me more about that...
Shame on me, I havent done any exercise for months, Depression made it impossible but Ive started lately to go for walks again,with my music and sunglasses I can deal with that! I use to do hot yoga twice a day and walk milles and milles!
finding a middle is our challenge!
Yesterday I went to my Doc, shared with him that i didnt have any urges to fast, that I was fines...spending a few days eating every few hours kept me away from ugly binges. But as i woke this morning(I actually got up at 6pm) I was overwelmed by the fact that this was the best day to do water fast!!! as if it was the first time in my life I ever got the idea!!! I did it it was easy but tomorrow Ill have food again, I must otherwise I may lose it!
Juicing is a great idea(just mind your fingers please!) my juicer is my best friend beside my cat!Ive got plenty of books on the subject if you need any tips. Please Let me know how things are going.
Its friday night and i havent hear from the hospital yet. OUF, that means I got at least 1 week bfore I start the program. this will b a busy week end, I promissed a friend some help to organise a memorium for her late huband (he was my landlord, past away 3 weeks ago) Valium will assit me in doing that I believe...still Im glad to be useful.
Bless u all! keep writing
sof*
- Re: thanks bella12984
17 y
1,933
This is a reply to # 954,518hola!
i just got home from work and have to work a double tomorrow....sooooo tired. it's so tiring on my body i forgot how hard it was.. oh well. i had no idea you were so knowledgable on all kinds of detoxes and colonics and stuff i have sooo many questions. i'm still new to a lot of it and confused on certain things. like the mc website, therawfoodsite.com or something i'll have to send it later, has a forum and i looked up all my info on the Mastercleanse there, and it said no to do any colonics, but others say to take them. i'll ask more about that stuff in detail in a post soon, probably monday when i have more time.
i'm so jealous from all the traveling you have done. that is so neat that you have got to meet and go to so many exotic places and done so many different things. i have always wanted to be a flight attendant i think it would be so fun.
i think i'm def going to do The Master Cleanse with a couple days water fast. my job is just too physically demanding right now i think i wouldn't be able to hack it. i just kind of want to get it over and done with. but i keep thinking will two weeks be enough to detox me, and i know the answer is no but i dont think that i'm physically able to do longer at this point. part of me says some is better than none and i'm just trying to learn to have control over my mind and body. the other part says it wont do anything. i just want all the yuck in me to get out!! i keep forgetting to buy that parasite cleanse to i must remember to do that asap. then i want to do a bowel and liver cleanse....do you think i should do the liver before or after the juice fast?
i need to start working out more that's for sure. i've not been doing enough. espeically with the weights. i like to do them to keep me toned, and if i keep the weights light enough with just a lot of reps i can do that, and this new gym will help. i'm def going to look into yoga, i need to be more flexible and learn to clear my head. i'll ask about it the next time i'm at the gym and as i learn more i'll def keep ya informed.
if you look on the Water Fast forum you'll see about a guy that did a Water Fast for 92 days. INSANE!!! he must feel like a million dollars how amazing is that. if you look on the Water Fast for weight loss forum someone did a 92 juice fast and he had great results if you all are interested. ok well i have to go. keep me posted !!! and i'll post soon too
ashley- Rome wasnt built in one day! princess farfala
17 y
1,542
This is a reply to # 954,588
Ashley.
Now now one thing at the time (also talking to myself here!) You do have many project on the way and cannot do them all at once.
Rome was not build in one day! I know that sounds cliche and boring but think of it...its true.
I am sure that like me you only want to maximise your true potential so you can enjoy life to the fullest. Detoxing is our way to get there.
I do recommand that you start gently...like on juice and take it one day at the time...me too I use to start a fast and think that Id never have enough days to achive my desire to b perfect, then get stressed and end up binging...what an ilogical behavior. going from one side to the extreme other.
I believe our wish to get clean inside is totaly legitimate.That does not make us sick at all. But when u know bulimia is waiting on the other side, it can make it a tricky matter.
When u said that you will do the Master-Cleanse my fist thought was : Great, lets do it together, theres nothing like a fasting budy!But if i dont make peace with food now I dont thing its gonna happen, ever...therefore...I must learn to eat regulary instead of too much at once then nothing for days! Being consistent is such a challenge.
If u are feeling balanced(or close to!) go for it. but i recommand you make small goal firt...like a detox week-end or something. when it comes to detox, every little help and you dont need to jump into 2 weeks for now... juice will give u energy so u can keep working and even working out, maybe this is not the best time to get into some strenuous weight training... but cardio, yoga,walking and breathing is a good way to get the toxins out on a cleanse. Dry brushing is a must..get yourself a soft brush in any health food store...
Sorry I dont mean to be boring. Myself, when I get excited about a project i want to do it fully but i can see from my experiences that when Im too strict I just cannot bear the pressure and lose it...
You are the best to see what you can do and we are here to support!
Do take care and speak soon! Sof*
- Rome wasnt built in one day! princess farfala
17 y
1,542
- Re: thanks bella12984
17 y
1,933
- Re: thanks princess farfala
17 y
1,576
- Re: thanks #69242
17 y
1,438
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