Your best friend still is with you. That beautiful dog you showed us. I live with 4 of them 2 Huskies, a female Timber Wolf and an Aussie. All rescued. Go to the suicide forum and read The dark night of the soul post that I put up. Take care.

Get your butt to the gym, girlfriend. I'm in a very similar boat that way - I can distinctly recall an enormous health (physical and mental) improvement, one I can hardly describe, when I was working out on a regular basis. That was SO many years ago, but a milestone. Today, I think of that time again and again. When I am a little stronger and when more of my symptoms (which are flu-like, but not the flu) abate - I absolutely plan to go back. This time I'll need to join a new gym - I had to leave my business, my life and my gym across the state of Florida because I became so ill and needed to be somewhere quiet, with less traffic and fewer people until better. Hence, needing a new gym. But it's one good way to get back in your body again - don't you think?

It works for me. As does yoga. Do you practice yoga by any chance? I am convinced yoga has the power to correct imbalances of all types. It is grounding like nothing else. Even a simple routine can do this. Five or so asanas, etc. - and I'm so much closer to "home". And then it keeps me here.

It also helps enable my body to talk to me much more clearly and more truthfully. Same goes w the gym.

I also relate all to well to the subject of your best friend moving. Happened to me four years ago and over those four years it changed so much about how I choose to communicate (I speak to no one right now - occassionally my mother...and I was super duper social - my profession requires it, but I was always naturally a social creature.). All this is NOT from depression. Oddly, I am not depressed one bit. I'm closer to dying of natural causes than my own hand - and that makes me sad, but not depressed.

Why?

Because I HAVE EVERY HOPE UNDER THE SUN. And I am committed to recovery.

Try a little yoga. DO get to the gym, since you already know your way around and what machines, etc. make you feel good. I cannot wait to get that going on. For the first time in over a year I have done some yoga for two days in a row. This is a big deal for me...and felt SO good. It also tells me I'm getting better. Joints are cracking all over my body, just opening a door causes them to snap. And that feels fantastic too.

Did you get a chance to read Wombat's post regarding emotions? I'll link you anyway.


//www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=923122


I know you also did a parasite cleanse. Which one was it? Did it help at all? Frankly, I believe the hair falling out is parasite related. Maybe Candida, but maybe more. Not sure. Mine stopped. I think we are close enough in age also - so if I can see this occur, you should.

You've got some incredible friends here on CZ. Some super sharp individuals - I feel blessed to have contact with these people. Take advantage of what this site and its members have to offer. We are REAL - and we REALLY care.

C'mon back over to the wild side (Io forum) when you feel up to it - whether you're drinking the purple juice or not. We do miss you. And love you.