BDD 
#166775
22 y
2,712
Hi to everyone. I hate to even put this post up because it is making me seriously sick just thinking and writing about it (I have never spoken to anyone about this before, I try to hide it as best as I can) and I know I will come off sounding like a complete loser, but here goes... I have a problem that is persistently increasing as the days go by. I haven't been diagnosed, but I am quite sure 100% that I have BDD (body dysmorphic disorder). I've been suffering from this disorder for quite some time now (a few years) and basically its making my life completely unlivable and miserable. I dont feel like myself anymore. At first I thought it was just me and I did not know there was a name for this condition, but one day as I was flipping through the television I came across a documentary that explained in detail ALL of my symptoms and I found out it had a name (BDD). I found a web page that basically described my life and my exact daily habits to razor sharp precision. For anyone who has no idea, BDD is a condition in which the individual exaggerates their "ugliness" which everyone else around them cannot see. Everyone else around them sees this individual as being just a normal person, but the individual sees themself as a hideous monster. This website I found gave me chills because every characteristic it described is EXACTLY what I do and think everyday. It has gotten so bad that it has completely lowered my self confidence and self esteem, and I am constantly preoccupied with this "trauma" each and every minute I am awake. Some of the things this condition has reduced me to: (Full emotional depression, sometimes just cry and cry) I only come out at night because I want to avoid all people all the time and I feel the daylight will only make my "ugliness" more noticeable. I avoid mirrors, and refuse to look in them, but at times I will spend hours just staring and hating the reflection of my "defects" in a mirror or shiny surface such as the reflection of a window. I am slowly becoming house-bound. I never want to leave the house anymore, my social life is becoming non-existent. I am having trouble in school (I'm in college) and have even dropped out at one point. (I'm back in school this semester and basically FORCING myself to go, it's ridiculous) I lock myself in my room all day (I spent the entire month of January 2002 locked in my room), I sleep all day so as to avoid having to "deal" with myself and this conflict. I quit my job because i don't want to face people and I don't want them to see my ugliness, and I dont have the confidence to find a new job. I think every single minute of the day about getting plastic surgery to "improve my nose" etc. and I am always wishing I had the money to do it (no school=no job, no job=no money). I am always praying and wishing for clearer skin etc, When I was a teenager I developed anorexia which made me ill, eventually I put the weight back on. I avoid people and never allow anyone to get close to me because they will see my huge flaws, this has put a strain on friendships as well as relationships-If a guy is interested in me I avoid him completely because I don't want anyone near me. I am constantly hating myself and have thoughts of suicide. I have developed a fear of driving now. I'm slowly developing paranoia about others around me. I believe I am a failure and worthless and don't deserve to share this earth with others. This disorder started out small and has ended up ruining my life. It started out as a small concern here and a small concern there. I am missing out on the best years of my life because of this disorder and I will never get these years back!!! Is there any way to get better? I understand this condition is probably mostly psychological, but I keep thinking MAYBE if I can change my appearance (nose job, lose weight, etc etc) I will get better. The website that describes all the characteristics (remarkably most of the ones I just stated) is:
http://www.bio-behavioral.com/bdd.asp
This site was good at describing details of the condition but it is obviously funded by conventional medicine because it goes on to state that possible treatments are such medications as prozac, etc. (I know I'm bad off but I don't want to resort to this)
Anyone have any thoughts or knows someone who's suffering from this too? Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated, Many thanks...
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- Re: BDD Spirit
22 y
2,394
This is a reply to # 72,776Please try to find practitioner practicing Bert Hellinger's therapy. That is exactly therapy that you need.
It may not be available in your town, but don't give up, until you find a good practitioner, even if you have to travel to another state/country.
Also, try to find a good therapist practicing Homeopathic medicine, and get good advice and good Homeopathic treatment.
Both therapies are long term therapies ... several months.
Beside that, you should absolutely change your diet and you should start cleansing your body. You don't know how clean and beautiful you are going to feel.
Eliminate from your diet all Foods-that-Kill, and include in your diet foods-that-heal.
Start also body cleansing, parasites and bowel cleanse, kidney and liver cleanse, dental cleanup.
Just click on "Health" link on this page ... and most I was talking about is explained there.
And, if you do have Amalgam in your teeth ... get it out!
Best of health
Spirit
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- Re: BDD #165523
22 y
2,475
This is a reply to # 72,776One of the most basic problems of yours will be that you are in all likelihood severely dehydrated but not recognising the symptoms which manifest themselves in ways that are commonly recodnised as íntreatable 'and problematic illnesses. So you can make the most excellent start to improving your life for yourself by sticking to a strict water regime, which is very easy to follow. Divide your unclothed body weight in pounds by two. This is the amount of water in fluid onces that you need to drink on a daily basis divided into 8-10 glasses. Two glasses should be taken immediately on rising as this replaces the water which is lost by the body duting the night. Water should ALWAYS be taken with a pinch of Celtic Seasalt as prolonged use of water without salt intake can lead to heart problems
and water taken on its own will raise your blood pressure. Sea Salt normalises it. The rest of your water should be taken...1/2 an hour before meals and one or two glasses before bed.After drinking your bed time water put a pinch of salt on your tongue and let it dissolve . Sleep will come very very quickly. I use this routine every night and the results are magic.Stick with this regime, you will feel transformed in only a few days, you will be sleeping better and you will be losing weight too. Whenever you look in the mirror give yourself a big smile ...the person you see in the mirror is your best friend and the person you can trust . - Re: BDD Liz
22 y
2,513
This is a reply to # 72,776Hi - I think my son suffers from the same thing, although,not as bad. But, we give him lots of love and encouragement. I notice he does better when he drinks lots of water. (and gets adequate sleep). He also feels very ugly, even though he is basically average in his appearance. It seems that no matter what you tell him, he already has this idea in his head. I agree with the other two posts, drink water, cleanse out your body and change your diet! It doesn't seem like that is the problem, but it is, you'll see. In the meantime, know that we'll keep you in our prayers, be encouraged, you'll come out of this on the other side! Let us know how you're doing! Bless. Liz
- Re: BDD #166775
22 y
2,452
This is a reply to # 72,804It seems NOTHING I can do, no protocol or cleanse or doctor or medication I use will ever help, I have a very negative pessimistic mindset. I WANT to help myself get better but then I just start thinking what's the point of using this it won't even help. I HATE FEELING LIKE THIS!!! This disorder preoccupies my brain every minute that I'm awake. It's amazing that it started out as a small nothing and manifested and snowballed itself into such a huge problem. Because of it I'm developing all sorts of other fears and phobias like social phobia (whatever its called) and paranoia, etc. Will I ever be normal again, is it even possible or realistic?
- Re: BDD JT
21 y
2,719
This is a reply to # 72,822Reading your statement was so poinent because I could't have said it better! I just found out about this phobia that has been developing and accelerating in me for so many years. Despite years of therapy and medication, this condition seems only to have worsened. I'm wondering if I'm in the advanced stages of this condition (duh!)--I stay in my apartment if I'm not at work and have no contact with other people, and when I do, I'm paranoid. Thanks for putting your finger on what's going on with me.
- Re: BDD JT
21 y
2,719
- Re: BDD #166775
22 y
2,452
- BDD and Liz-Listen #162309
22 y
2,611
This is a reply to # 72,776I can directly, almost word for word, identify with what you wrote. I felt like I didn't "deserve to live on this earth" when I was a teenager. Later in life, I became a Christian and realized that that was a feeling of EXTREME humility, of course I felt "out of place" like I "didn't belong", I didn't feel comfortable with all of the corruption and "dog eat dog" competition that the real world has to offer. I was uncomfortable in the real world. This is an important point to remember for your self-esteem. You are NOT a bad person, but MUCH to the contrary, you feel that way because "you count others as better than yourself". Try and find where that quotation came from, and you will see what I mean. It comes from a book whose author was scorned because He was a good person. This might sound far out, but the first step in solving a problem, is, understanding it. YOU ARE FAR FROM BEING A BAD PERSON.
God bless you.
Caring Person - Re: BD #84993 15 y 2,406
- Re: BDD Spirit
22 y
2,394
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