This forum is meant for support, but in order to be healed, we need to understand the cause of illness and changed from that. What had went wrong and where to find help?

The receptionist will not be fired, for my gynecologist thought the same way. He even wears a mask whenever he sees me for I have HSV2 in my mouth as well. He does not want saliva to be spilled on him, which I don't blame him.

The sad part, if you have been reading some of my previous emails is, once you get into trouble, people will think you should know not to get into it. I wanted to yell to the gynacologist whom I've seen since 20 year old, why for 4 years of seeing him, he never warned me nor have education brochure in his office about STD. He prescribed contraceptive to me, give me anti-biotics for those bacteria related STD, and at one time even suggested abortion if I was tested positive for pregnancy. When I talked to him more, at aged 34, for having transmitted HSV2 into mouth that why did'nt he told me HSV2 can be spread to other body parts. He and the receptionist could say, " See how much time I already spent on you at examination. " It seemed to him that it is not his job to educate patient on STD. I dont' blame him, maybe he was rejected by people when he tried to warn them of STD. So he just write presciption and don't care less patient's personal life.


When I talked with my 70 year old caucasian Pastor, he said, " Don't think you can do things wrong? You cannot afford to be wrong " The Pastor's wife in a Chinese church I used to go suggested me to break up with my boyfriend if my illness is incurable. After one year's prayer with me, she does'nt care I need a friend to help me and accept me. I don't blame them, they want to protect those not affected.

I can't work for I have outbreak in the mouth daily that the viruses crawl horribly around my face, eyelid, bridge of the eye, forehead, nose. My face is swollen. For those who knew cancer patient, the body part of cancer patient will be swollen, and my face is the same way. The ears will have lymph fluid watering. I usually take one gram of Valtrex a day for if the viruses go to the brain, I will be in coma, though the case is rare.

Want to hear more of my tearful story? I can't apply for disability for the doctor think I can stand the itch and pain, and work. I had not been working for one and a half year already. I can't sleep soundly at night, for the viruses will wake me up when they crawl on my face. The face is around 8 times more sensitive than the genitals as our face contains vital sense organ.

I can't bear a child, for the first three months I can't take any medicine for the baby's liver is not fully develop to digest any medicine. And I have no way to control my face from outbreak nor the viruses not crawling to my eyes or brain if I don't take valtrex in the first three months. Am I not ruined?

Knowing God is like knowing the ethics of life. At a young age, we all learned about work ethics. So bearing with me to tell you what God thinks will lead you to know ethics in life and to beg God for healing. Actually my healings depend on your knowlege about God, too. If we as a whole Herpes Nation won the mercy of God, we might have a cure.

According to Bible Study class, there are 4 reasons for illness and I remembered three for those impressed me. They are: 1) Result from neglience to take care of oneself properly, 2) chastening so one will stop from that activity of hurting the body, 3)an experience to understand pain and suffering, so as to be able to help others.

Furthermore, most Pastor considered incurable STD a punishment from God. It hurted me to hear from an Evangelist that I had committed a crime that deserve to be stoned to death in God's eye, and in Israel times----sex before marriage. Even in a Hong Kong talk show, a male Chinese host boldly said why will ancient Chinese people drowned men and women having committed adultery while nowadays it is not against the law. A few years went by that he reappeared in the T.V. with teary eyes that his wife left him.