Hi, Paulina... it sounds like you are really disciplined, or perhaps you are wonderfully allowing your illness to discipline you? Congratulations on having such respect for your body.

So, if you are eating legumes raw... well... these have had funny effects on me. i assume you are sprouting them? I mean -- I think ... legumes and any food that is raw and "difficult to handle" is actually a friend to the body since that food prompts the person to fast instead of seducing the person into eating at times when fasting is necessary. But if you can't fast, it's tough , because you will end up getting really ill on foods that are the best ones for you (of course [1]no food is good when you are ill, if you subscribe to Natural Hygiene, which I do; but I have extreme difficulty fasting as I am an emotional eater and [2] foods that beckon even when you are sick end up making you sicker than the non-tempting foods might) ...The upshot is I avoid legumes, even raw sprouted ones, though I should not -- what I ought to do is eat them and let them make me sick enough that I am compelled to fast. oh God I don't know what I am even trying to tell you. Just that I believe in fasting.

Ok, so that was confused. Sorry. ... I follow perhaps quite different ideas from your protocol, like , I don't believe in pureeing juicing etc... and on your diet I would be horrifically bloated!!! I guess that shows how poor my health is -- seriously. What I want to do is , I want to make the life choice to commit to a raw, living foods only diet (sprouts) and stop eating just fruit the way I am doing, and arrive at such a state of food-sobriety by fasting, at length.

I can be buddies, though, definitely, with the depression, especially because the Depression (/anxiety) is what makes me lose my fasts, every time. Last night I lost a fast I was trying to take because I "got too miserable." if I could message you when I felt that way -- like abandoning a fast; or just were depressed in ordinary life -- if I could tell my thoughts and feelings to someone who really accepted & understood, it would really help me.

You can e-mail me or PM me here if you prefer that to chatting on the forum page. I am trying to restart my fast soon and could really use some support in preparing, thinking it through, and most of all getting through it!