Mellisamouse,
Do you say it all when you say...
"I feel like it was my protection and now I am vulnerable......." ?
Roger J. Callahan, in his book about real romantic love..."It Can Happen to You"...has some fine things to say about vulnerability.
He says that in real romantic love a person feels very vulnerable...and that it is okay...that, if you are one of the lucky few to feel it, and if you lose in love, you will feel it again.
Only a person who is able to feel vulnerable, trusting, is able to fall deeply, whole-heartedly in love.
He also says that it takes a mature person to handle true love.
Perhaps it is just too soon for you to feel totally comfortable with your newly balanced and healthy body.
I'd bet my bottom dollar that you will, soon.
Dress yourself for success in other things you want to do.
Out there in the big, wide world, start small, but work toward the things you love.
There is a fine book, free on the Internet...
http://www.wishcraft.com
It's an easy read, with simple exercises...but you'll find it life-changing...as though it was written just for you.
Everyone feels that way with Wishcraft.
Enjoy!
Fledging