How realistic of you to realize that "all social interaction is basically really shallow" (all is vanity/ego..."personalities"), but don't become too practical, because even though (for the most part) you're right, there really is such a thing as love (and tears/sorrow). Ultimately, it is only arrogance that makes any of us think that tears are never so warm as when they come from those who recognize what is shallow.

"No matter what is shallow, my heart remains deep" (declaration of SELF).

Ideally, we SHOULD be accepted by others at face value, but many people insist on being suspicious because they're afraid that you might be as sneaky and "naughty" as they are. As a rule of thumb, when people are afraid that you might be accustomed to "sinister" intentions as they are (IF they are at all), they get into your business in order to discover your intentions.

The "recieving state" requires preparation for stress management (problems, problems).

Rygar....are you drunk? LOL, you know I'm kidding.

The only way you are going to make progress is by working on it. Seems you are going in the right direction. You may miss sitting in your pile of sh*t, but then again, maybe it's time to clean up.

Yes, you are right, social interaction is completely shallow, especially in an office setting. There are so many corporate rules. You can't just blather on endlessly, pick you nose openly in a meeting, tell someone they are a prick....

But, you get some of those people out of the office and they can be completely surprising.....or not. It's hard to turn your office mates into friends though, because there are huge hurdles to overcome before one let's their hair down. It is entirely possible however.

I guess the best adage for human interaction and behavior would be, treat those the way you would want to be treated.

And you are also correct, everyone walking around you, talking to you, working with you, riding the bus with you, is potentially (and most probably) more messed up than you. I would be willing to put money on that. Many of them are lonely, sad, depressed, financially stricken, unhealthy (on so many levels), and the vast majority do not practice a healthy lifestyle, nor are they as introspective as you. See? You have insight. I'd say that shallowness you perceive keeps others from getting anywhere near where you can go.

So instead of mocking the masses, you can simply be one of the few people in their life to give them a laugh. They all need that so badly.

Molly

Hi Rygar,

I *really* like this post lots -n- stuff. I think it's super neat that you asked for opinions, really looked at advise, and decided to apply some stuff. It sounds like you're going at it with the same rigor that has made you successful in other areas of your life. Long ago I stopped being very impressed by potential as so many people with great potential never seem to use it. I know a gal who in one way reminds me of what I know of you. Both of you are smart and have good qualities, but some qualities that have really held you back with people. The more I've gotten to know her, the more I've come to admire her. In terms of certain qualities, such as relationship skills or life focus, I'm way more advanced than she. But knowing what she's come from and how much progress she's made, I'm really amazed - I think she's gained more ground in those areas than I. So I like this post 'cause you're moving and discovering. Many times people love to get into the "i have issues, give me advice" not for the advice at all but for the attention and sympathy. I admire it that you're tackling it so *yay* you. You should get a prize. :)

One thing I initially thought I didn't agree with was this: "I have realized that all social interaction is basically really shallow in a way and EVERYTHING should be taken at face value". reading been there done that's post, I'm thinking perhaps this is more existential, sounds like you guys are talking about LOA talk... I'm not really sure if you meant it how I think so I'll hand over my thoughts anyway, in case they're useful.

This is related to my post to you on intimacy. Social interaction may be shallow, a polite and necessary way to co-exist with so many people. I remember when one of my first bosses would always make sure he did small talk every week even tho it seemed we really had nothing in common. I recognized at the time that it was his way of making sure he connected to me in a kind way. Since then I've gotten better and better at the social niceties thing, and as I've grown, the amount of caring behind it has also grown. An interaction that may seem very shallow to an onlooker or even the receiver is done often with my fondest, warmest regards and well-wishes for that person. I like this. I always find it amusing when I get a new job that everyone doesn't respond very warmly and openly when they first meet me. It's like I forget that many people don't do that to strangers! I just meet them expecting by habit that they will interact as if they really like me. :-) That's said just to illustrate in my case how many social interactions which are shallow in content are truly not shallow at all, and this depends on the people involved and what they put into it.

Anyway, I'm glad you're enjoying your learning. c-ya

I have followed your posts for quite a while and I must say good on you!

Keep going that way- you know where to go!

You are a good guy and I know that people can be happy to have you as a friend.