Oh my dear!  I think that this is where the great divide, the line sharply  defining and separating men and women from each other actually lies.  I don't think many of us will ever understand the male psyche in it's need to settle scores violently.   As a mother I would be like you, cringing with the thought of my son getting seriously hurt, and in fact, I go through this process frequently.

I have a son who for reasons I will never, ever understand, decided since he was quite young that boxing was the coolest thing in the world.  Nowdays he is constantly training and practicing for boxing in all his free time and wants to be a professional.  Recently, right before Thanksgiving, he actually arranged for a match before an audience with ticket purchases and all.  Naturally, he really wanted Mom and little sister to be there, to which we both said no waaay!!!!  For me, the thought of seeing my boy getting knocked around is akin to torture, plus, what about those beautiful teeth which got straightened out thanks to my hard work at putting together enough money to afford braces?!?!?  What about brain damage from repeated blows to the brain.  Forgive me if I sound nasty, but don't all boxers sound kinda stupid?  Isn't the whole, entire premise of training to knock others around and having spectators cheering on in and of itself completely ridiculous and stupid?!?!

So you see, I have gone through this entire process and can understand how you feel Molly, perfectly.  There is only one ore thing that bothers me more though, in your son's case.  This is not about a sport (absurd as that sounds to me), but about someone else's deliberate attempt at causing harm.   When I manage to quiet down my estrogen enough, I can sort of understand the need for males to assert their honor in ways that would be very different from most females.  But the problem here is the times we are living in and the things to which young people have access these days.  If this is just a dumb fist fight, then you could just learn to cringe in silence as the whole thing is carried out.  But if there is any danger of pulling out weapons, or others joining the fight unexpectedly,  then I would say that something more direct has to be done to impede the cofrontation.   I think this is something that your husband and you will have to think thoroughly and investigate the other kid's background if possible.  I know that here in California there is a real gang mentality among the kids, and that is probably what this kid hates in your son,  why, "he's different"....can't have that!

I support you in your desirte to see this whole thing just go away, but more importantly I know it has to be faced.  Funny how we can be so strong in facing the onslaughts of life, and yet shiver when it involves our babies getting hurt.   Your husband and you will have to look at this long and hard and act upon a realistic conclusion.  Should you let "boys be boys", or do you need to step in as parents and stop a possible bad scene.   Either way, fear is our worst enemy.

May peace and good-will fall upon your family like a soft blanket this New Year, and follow and cover you into all your paths.  :-)

I pronounce many blessings to you.