new here and desperate for pmdd help... 
prncessang228
17 y
16,462
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hello all
my name is Angie and I'm new to this website but i'm glad i found it. I was diagnosed with PMDD about 5 months ago and have struggled with it. I'm to the point where I feel like I can't take it anymore!!!
I started seeing a counselor for it right after i was diagnosed but only saw her for about a month b/c we reached a point where she really couldn't do anything for me. I was taking Zoloft 100mg a day but it made me feel zombied out and out of touch with the world, which for me doesn't work b/c i'm a busy mom of 3 little girls part-time (ages 8,6,and 5). they switched me to Yaz which worked the past few months but I feel like this month it's done only a little to help me.
i have a wonderful boyfriend who has been on a roller coaster ride with me the entire 3 years we've been together. lately though, when i have my mood swings-he tends to disappear and the last time we got into a fight (minus the one i'm about to discuss) I almost lost him!! we made a decision right then and there that one way or the other-we were going to have us figured out by Feb when my apt lease was up. either we moved in together or went our separate ways. Since then, things have been pretty good and we've been moving along at getting me slowly moved in. my kids have started spending the night with me on weekends at his house and my cat moved in on friday.
well today I woke up pretty moody. I tried to contain it. We both work night shift and he got up around 4:30p and grabbed his laptop and went out to the living room with it. i waited about 10 mins and got up too. i went into the kitchen and noticed that his dishes from when he came home from work at 6a were in the sink instead of the dishwasher (which i had emptied the night before) and his clothes were all over the floor (that i had cleaned and all laundry was done too). the reason this upset me so much was b/c anytime i leave any of my stuff out (clothes,shoes,hairclip,etc) he puts it away!! he'll put my shoes in the closet or my hairclips in a drawer but his stuff is always everywhere. so instead of snapping at him, i went and laid back down-he came in the room a few mins later and asked if i was hungry. i said no and he stressed that i needed to eat but dropped it after i said nothing. he then asked me to join him in the living room. we laid on the couch while he talked to his sister on the phone trying to fix her laptop. when he got off the phone, he cuddled with me and kissed me for a while making me think we were going to be intimate (which was a relief b/c lately i feel like he's not be interested). after a few minutes, he got up to fix something for his model airplane!! i was frustrated. so i got up and laid down in the bedroom thinking he would follow. after waiting for 10 mins-i gave up and went to shower. once he heard the water running-he came in and tried to touch me!! i explained to him that he's had since 4:30p when we got up to touch me and he said that at 4:30p he was still trying to wake up, was hungry, needed to call his sister,etc. i then pointed out that i now had 20 mins to get ready for work and got into the shower. he followed me in and we ended up being intimate in there (which he knows i enjoy but it doesn't work for me). he ended up climaxing and i got out b/c i was upset. after a few mins-he got out and asked me (annoyed) what was wrong. i told him he was so self absorbed that he didnt even see it-i feel bad now b/c i shouldn't have said it that way. he was totally confused so i explained to him that i've been worried sick the past few days b/c we never go for more than a day or two w/out being intimate and lately it's been several days in between and when he finally does touch me-it's in the shower where i don't really like it. he then confessed that he feels like he's walking on nails around me-b/c i've gotten mad at him for touching me right when we get home or right when we get up so to avoid getting yelled at-he doesn't touch me. he then said that i should have moved us from the shower to the bedroom if i didnt like where we were (which he's right). he was on his laptop during this whole conversation b/c he's always itchy when getting out of the shower and uses the laptop to entertain himself while drying and letting the itching stop before getting dressed. i stood there for a while as he was typing on the laptop then walked out of the room b/c i started crying. i came back in saying i was just going to leave for work and he said not to. i sat down on the bed and after a few mins he asked me if saying he was sorry and he wanted to work things out would help and i said yes. i thought we were fine after that.
once i got to work-i called and emailed him to tell him i was sorry. i hate having this condition and i wish my meds had worked better this month but they seem to be not doing their job this time. he never called or emailed me back so i checked his email(very wrong i know) and noticed that he had checked my email and one from his college friend back home in IL. the friend (who is married-i've met both him and his wife-nice people) was emailing to ask how things were,if thanksgiving had been nice,etc. My bf wrote him back telling him what he'd been up to and that thanksgiving had been nice b/c his family was here to visit but he said nothing about me or the kids. well the friend noticed my bf hadn't said anything about me so he emailed again to ask how things were with us and why he hadn't mentioned me. My bf wrote back saying he hadn't said anything about me b/c things were the same-good one week then bad the next. he then said that his view changes from day to day!!! I WAS SO CRUSHED!! thank god the friend wrote back pointing out that good AND bad days were all part of a relationship and that if all of our days were good ones then the relationship wouldn't be real. my bf hasn't checked the email yet so i don't know how he'll take that.
I'm so heartbroken though.I'm supposed to be at his house when i get off work in the morning but the last time this happened, he emailed me right before i was leaving work to tell me to stay home. he then shut my garage door opener off so i couldn't get into his house and ignored me for 3 days. we talked it out w/him saying we couldn't fight anymore but i pointed out to him that it was unrealistic for us not to ever fight. he then said we could disagree but no bad fights w/us not talking for days.
now he won't return my calls or emails and i'm so scared he's going to disappear again.
i hate this!! my meds aren't working, the counselor didnt help and i feel helpless!! i dread this time coming up b/c i know no matter what i do-i'm going to turn into a monster and i feel like i'm going to lose everything b/c of it.
what should i do!!!
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- Re: new here and desperate for pmdd ... #68716
17 y
12,445
This is a reply to # 1,055,824Although PMS and toxic pre-menstrual disorders can be medically identified, it is my firm belief that prescribed medications are not the answer to such conditions. All of the physiological activities that are associated with pre-menstrual issues have been occuring since Eve had that little discussion with the serpent. So, why are women suffering these incredible mood swings and lack of control, today? Today, we attach a medical label and then we develop a condition which, according to the Western medical community, requires prescribed medications to control the condition. Then, that medial label is used to excuse our behaviors: an example of this was my 2 year old son went down a sliding board at a nearby playground and accidentally bumped into a little girl who was standing at the bottom. No harm was done, but the mother of this little girl snatched my son by the arm and attempted to discipline him for having bumped her daughter. I insisted that she remove her hands from my son and that no harm had been done and that it wasn't intentional on my son's part. She then launched into a vociferous tirade about how he should have known better and to wait his turn, to which I sarcastically replied that the kid was only 2 and, perhaps, was just aspiring to be as perfect as her child. This woman then had the raw nerve, audacity, and utter gall to say to me, "I'm sorry. I'm suffering PMS and I guess I just went off the handle." I replied that PMS was no excuse for jerking a knot in someone else's child and that I pitied anyone who came within spitting distance of her and never went back to that particular playground, again.
I also used to experience the same loss of control and irrational behaviors. It took YEARS (NOT a month) of counseling and long-term, baby step changes in my diet and lifestyle to overcome and control those impulses. And, if you spent a month with a counselor and came to the conclusion that you weren't getting any help, it may be that you have some serious impulse issues to overcome. Nothing can be accomplished in a month's worth of therapy, even if you met with your counselor each week! There is no "Instant and Permanent Fix" for these issues.
The first thing that I learned was that the world is not "All About Me." I had to really force myself to stop, think, and consider the consequences of my outbursts or actions. Who would I be harming if I gave into my impulses to rant and rave? What would I accomplish if I gave into the urges to throw a screaming-meemies tantrum? I can only say that overcoming my impulses took time, patience, self-forgiveness, monumental effort, and a will of iron to make the changes for myself and nobody else. Then, I made the decision to introduce vitamins, minerals, and other natural elements to my diet. This happened over stretches of time, not in a week or a month. Vitamin B Complex is a great place to start, but the milligrams that you require will have to be something that you research and determine for yourself. There are a host of other vitamins, minerals, and herbal additions that would also help your fluctuations. But, you must accept and understand that no amount of vitamins, minerals, herbs, prescribed medications, or partridges in pear trees is going to affect your personal choices. You will have to be the one to choose whether or not you will continue therapy, learn coping techniques, and realize that YOU (alone) can take control of this issue. More importantly, you will have to realize and accept that there is no such thing (medically or naturally) that will provide an "Instant and Permanent Fix" for any human condition. To get control of this, you will have to be willing to put in months of counseling and years of practice to affect positive changes. You'll also have to realize that we are all flawed human beings and not robots. Having a manageable condition is not a crime or a sin! It's whether or not we continue using a label as an excuse for our choices that makes it one.
Good luck and best wishes.
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- Re: new here and desperate for pmdd ... prncessang228
17 y
12,263
This is a reply to # 1,056,634thank you very much for taking the time to answer my post.
your playground story really struck a cord. i would hate to think that i would treat anyone that way (let alone an innocent child) but if I really think about it-that's exactly how I treat my bf and my kids on my bad days.
i realize this isn't an easy or overnight fix. I lately have felt like a fish out of water with the whole thing. i'm so new to it that i don't really know where to start.
the counselor i'm seeing is a social worker not a pyschlogist and that may be part of my issue-i need to be in sessions with someone who deals with mental issues on a daily basis. i somewhat feel that part of my issue might be deeper than just my PMDD. i'm also learning that hiding behind this issue isn't helping me at all.
learning self control is one of the biggest tasks in this whole thing. i have none as you can see by my post. i fly off the handle and then immediately blame it on my condition like the person who i've just gone off on is supposed to automatically forgive and forget.
thanks alot for your post-it helped give me some insight on what i should do and how i can work harder at making things better for me,my children,and my bf. i know that if I keep up my destructive behavior-my children will be scarred for life and my bf will be gone.
- Re: new here and desperate for pmdd ... PrincessLeia
16 y
11,794
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This is a reply to # 1,056,634I can identify so well with these posts.
After I had my third child, my hormones never returned to 'normal.' I could take feeling a little snappy & blue near my period, but the severe mood swings, small tolerance, cloudiness of mind, etc that started after I had my last baby really super sucks.
Like the women who posted the first post, I wished there was an easy answer. I won't take hormones (because I don't believe in putting synthetic hormones in my body continuously like that) and I also won't take anti-depressants.
I love my vitamins, especially the B's, and I've been trying to find an herbal cocktail that will support me better during those times.
I personally found the Western medical community very unhelpful. They just offered some pills (birth control & antidepressant) and had nothing else to offer me. I told them I'd rather get pregnant again to stop this rather than take those drugs. One midwife's response was, "Well, that certainly is an extreme type of hormone therapy!"
I firmly believe that taking the time to pray &/or meditate as well as do a yoga practice is very important to coping with this. I also believe that being conscience of your thoughts & behaviors and then purposefully changing them is essential.
I personally find it hard to do the prayer, meditation & yoga as my family is so demanding. When my 3 kids aren't constantly trying to get my attention for something, my husband is. I haven't figured out quite how to get around that yet. I do wonder if I had a passive stream of income that could allow for me to work less, pay for the kids to be involved in more (sports, camps, etc), and have the money for my husband to engage in a hobby, that I would be able to find that time.
Nevertheless, it is very comforting to read the challenges that you other women are having as it affirms that I'm not alone. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only crazy women in the world. Not that I'm happy anyone is suffering, but it validates that what I'm going through is REAL and that it DOES take a lot of effort to overcome.
Thanks.
- Re: new here and desperate for pmdd ... prncessang228
17 y
12,263
- Re: new here and desperate for pmdd ... #36807
17 y
12,487
This is a reply to # 1,055,824I have been where you have been before and I know how you feel. I lost a marriage because of it and had many more problems in other relationships. I am telling you that diet ALONE changed my whole personality. The diet I am talking about is a raw foods diet. I don't take any supplements as I feel they are not natural. Some people may argue that they are some times needed to get past a particular illness/health problem, but if you give your body the correct nutrition, it will eventually balance its self out. Also, the pill and medications you are talking about are not good to be taking and just cause more problems down the road. I have taken them as well. I haven't taken any meds not even an asprin for seven years. As for the diet, I've been on it for four years and I noticed a complete turn around in days. If I eat bad foods, boy can I tell a difference! Now I am one of the most chill people I know! If you would like to read more about it here are the links:
waisays.com
freeacnebook.com
I wish you the best and hope you start feeling better soon!- Re: new here and desperate for pmdd ... PipBlack
9 y
8,137
Lugol’s Iodine Free S&H
J.Crow’s® Lugol’s Iodine Solution. Restore lost reserves.
New lower prices!
Hulda Clark Cleanses
This is a reply to # 1,056,763Are you still on raw foods and how long did you take to balance out, did you do anything alongside this diet? I'm high raw, maybe fruitarian, still have the odd potato and rice. My symptoms haven't eased at all unfortunatley.
- Re: new here and desperate for pmdd ... PipBlack
9 y
8,137
- Hormones, edited UserX
17 y
12,185
This is a reply to # 1,055,824Changes in hormones can really make you feel crazy. Many things, including sexual relations can affect the hormones dramatically. Here is a link to some good information about them-
http://www.womentowomen.com/menopause/estrogendominance.aspx?id=1&campaignno=...
Changing the diet, getting exercise, cleansing and purifying the body, meditating, doing yoga are all things that can help to achieve balance. I would avoid pharmaceutical drugs if at all possible.
When I was having PMS, taking Dr. Lees advice regarding wild yam cream helped me a lot.
- Re: new here and desperate for pmdd ... - serafina -
17 y
12,470
This is a reply to # 1,055,824I've suffered badly for post-partum Depression after my son was born 3 years ago, badly enough to wake up willing to die every day under the sun, and only recently I've arrived to the point where i can say for sure that yes, it is over.
I think that one thing is the issues you have, for which I warmly suggest you to do psycotherapy (if it didn't work with the first search for another, and then another until you find the right person), it is a wonderful opportunity of growth and self-discovery, it is beautiful, give it to yourself. Another thing is the brain chemistry, that may transfom natural challenges that make life yummy into abysses that make your life miserable. The theory behind antidepressants is that by changing the brain chemistry and alleviating your condition you would have the chance to address the issues more positively. False, I think. But i don't have any direct experience with them as i would want to suffer all my pain if the alternative was to not feel anymore like myself. I tried the natural St John's War and after one day i had had enough.
There is a natural way to change brain chemistry, and that is how I made it:
- keep track of blood Sugar and never ever eat anything that raises it too abruptly. This is a very very important thing that i discovered by chance as I kept track of sugars to keep my weight in balance, and well, no surprise if you have children you must have noticed how they begin to squeak for no apparent reason if they eat too much sugars at empty stomach. I didn't do anything that evil, it was just things like drinking a juice first thing in a morning, or drinking a glass of wine at empty stomach, or eating bread while waiting for dinner to be served. Those little things triggered a terrible craving for more, and resisting the craving alone was reason for tension, imagine if I gave in. You don't need to drop all carbs, I'm vegetarian, how could I do it? but you need to eat them as last after a whole meal and prefer whole grains to processed bleached.
- alkalize, eating 80% fruits and veggies and 20% carbs and proteins. When I realized how the carbs were affecting my mood swings I had a few days of wild eating of eggs and cheese, but acidic food in excess makes your mood also acid, more prone to petty ritorsions and memorable scenes, not a good idea. Look also for superalkalizing foods, as i am travelling in California i go as often as i can to have wheatgrass juice at "jamba juice"
- I began supplementing with Iodine (and necessary minerals, see the FAQ of the Iodine forum), and it was as if i switched on my engine. No exhaustion any more, no feelings of hopelessness
- oil pulling, at least once a day for around 20 min, maybe it is the salivation that makes op such an effective antidepressant, I don't know, ut it works wonderfully
- supplement with b complex, very very important for me with a long history as vegan, but i think b6 and b12 could be a nice try also for you
- vit d, this is a new finding for me and i am very enthusiastic, it isn't true what doctors say that it's enough for you to take the sun a few minutes a day. You wish. So so many people around are vit d deficient, you could be one of them, I am (was) for sure. Another nutritional deficiency linked to depression. I had my first day yesterday and i was jumping so happy I felt
- of course drink a lot of water, especially when I'm freaking out, it helps, at least to keep the mouth shut, ah ah!
that's it, as a list it seems much but it isn't anything so hard to do. Then of course when the chemistry is all right you'll be in the right place to take measures tha require consistent commitment, like doing yoga, cleanin the inner organs especially the liver (seat of the emotions according to hinese medicine) and so on.
good luck with everything!
xoxo
do - Re: new here and desperate for pmdd ... LuellaMay
17 y
12,128
This is a reply to # 1,055,824
I just happened by the forum and decided to see what it was about.
Here is a post that Tony Isaacs and I made on PMDD. I hope it helps you.
http://curezone.com/forums/fm.asp?i=1057797#i
Hugs,
Luella
- Re: new here and desperate for pmdd ... meg8132000
16 y
11,874
This is a reply to # 1,055,824Hi - I do research on PMS and PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder) and I just couldn't resist making a few comments.
Counseling works, but not overnight. It is best if you see someone with a degree in counseling and social work who is sensible, and practical - not a PhD or psychiatrist. A good rule of thumb is that they should be setting goals with you and directly working to address those goals (the jargon term is directed behavioral therapy). If you are just talking, especially about what happened when you were 5, this is not effective. You need to learn to recognize the onset signs (me, I get migraines too and when I start craving doritos, I know I am going to be a mess 4 days later) and the things that affect you - does your sleep cycle get messed up, do your eating habits change etc/ Stress management techniques also help.
As for the BF - as much of a loss as it is, you can force someone to take the ride with you. Everyone has something, and I would be willing to bet that the BF has his faults. Part of the disorder is to blame yourself for things that are not your fault.
Counseling works best in combination with drugs. Get a better psychiarist. 1) you should really start with the lowest doses (depending on your body weight). I am about 110 - if 100 mg of zoloft is good for a full grown male (usually how they determine optimum dose) I need about half that. 2) Most people have to try a few drugs before they find one that works for them. 3) Many women with PMDD find that they can take anti-depressants for the 2 weeks after ovulation (the last 2 weeks of your cycle) and then go off them for the next 2 weeks. This does not work in men, but works with a lot of PMS patients. Probably the kinds of drugs that will work best are called SSRI's (these include celexa, zoloft, prozac, lexapro and paxil). Each of them are a little different - some are more sedating than others.
A lot of people find that with the combination of a practical counseling and some period of drug therapy, they can make the changes in their lives they need to make so that they can manage the monster. I was in therapy and on SSRI's for 2 years, but i ditched some bad people, got a new job and have a better relationship with my family and I haven't been in counseling or on drugs for years now. Ha - till menopause.
There is hope.
- Re: new here and desperate for pmdd ... ellie910s
13 y
11,222
This is a reply to # 1,055,824Hi angie. I can so relate to what you are saying. My PMDD scares me so badly sometimes.I too have had a bad week have messed up relationships AGAIN. medication is not working. I wish I had the answer for you, but i don't. I know its the last thing you want to hear and I'm saying this to myself. Exercizing figorously seems to help. but who can exercizes when you are depressed stressed and fatiqued. please write back maybe mutual support will help.
melissa
- Re: new here and desperate for pmdd ... #68716
17 y
12,445
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